Where is my Mind?
by PurgatoryHeart
Summary: Angeal is cursed with the mark of the beast. Zack isn't a puppy anymore. Zack is persistent and Angeal is desperately fighting for control. Who knows what might happen if he were to lose his mind. OOC,AU,OC.*I Found the plot!*
1. Whoops!

**Disclaimer: Don't own final fantasy or the lyrics to the song where is my mind by the pixies.**

A/N: Yes, I know. Another story! But I couldn't just let this one go. Mainly because there aren't nearly enough supernatural stories with Angeal and Zack. I read a couple that were actually pretty good on this site, but they weren't complete. This story is mainly Angeal/Zack, but will have some Zack/Loz. The other Remnant's are mentioned but, that's about it. There will also, be mention's of Sephiroth/Genesis. This story is pretty AU, with some OOC's as well. Rated M for obvious reasons!

* * *

**Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.1 Whoops!**

_With your feet in the air and your head on the ground_

_Try this trick and spin it, yeah_

_Your head will collapse_

_But there's nothing in it and you'll ask yourself_

_Where is my mind?_

-:-

Angeal plastered a fake smile on his face. He hated mingling, but most of all he hated all the female higher ups that continuously tried to coerce him into their bed…most notably, Scarlett. The woman was cheap. From her blonde hair to her fake nails, she was in every sense of the word tacky.

She did everything in shades of red, Angeal was surprised her hair wasn't red, but realized that might have been overdoing it just a bit.

Yeah, right.

This time she smiled at Angeal from across the room, her lips smeared in the red lipstick she carried on her person at all times. Despite the fact that he hated the very sight of the woman, she was still a higher up and therefore he had to pay respect to her. It wouldn't do if one of trinity were to be seen as nothing short of charming Hero's.

Of course, it didn't stop Angeal from lamenting the fact.

Why couldn't she bother Genesis?

Oh, right.

Out of the three, Genesis was the most flamboyant and he made no secret about how much he despised Scarlett. Whenever they were in the same room as each other, Angeal made sure to keep Genesis away from her. It was about a year ago when she made a comment about Loveless. It was something or other, but the point was Genesis heard and he blew up at her. Ever since, they'd kept their distance to avoid the same incident from occurring.

By fault she didn't bother Angeal because he was always with Genesis. However, as luck would have it, Genesis was exempt from the current idiocy as he was on a mission in Wutai.

Angeal couldn't help but be jealous.

Sephiroth normally never came to these things, but the President had requested his presence, as if it wasn't much to ask. Sephiroth had to contain his anger, although as soon as he was behind closed doors he hit the roof at the first chance he got.

Sephiroth glided over and Angeal's fake smile turned into a genuine one.

"Is she harassing you yet?"

"Not yet. But the look in her eye says otherwise."

"I guess I should be glade everyone's afraid to talk to me. Unless, I'm at the President's side." Sephiroth commented.

Angeal chuckled at that. "Well, almost everyone."

At that, Sephiroth made a sour face and glared into his champagne flute. "Don't get me started on the little monsters."

A few years ago, Hojo created more children like Sephiroth. He wanted to keep them in the lab, but ShinRa thought it would be a good experience for Sephiroth and the children if he took care of them instead.

Sephiroth, calm cool collected, Sephiroth lost his damn mind. He bitched up a storm the likes the scientists, the Turks, SOILDER, and the whole of ShinRa had never seen. Genesis thought it was librating. Angeal almost had a heart attack.

"I thought I hated Hojo. Oh, how wrong I was. If I killed him today, it still wouldn't be enough with the little monstrosities he stuck me with." Sephiroth silently seethed. He stopped glaring at the wineglass in his hand and just glared at anyone in front of him.

Sephiroth was used to getting his way. Sometimes…he didn't.

Angeal smiled nonetheless. "You can hardly call them that. They're just kids."

"They're demons! And Kadaj is the worst one. I don't have to worry about Yazoo. I mean, sure he's conceited, but at least he's quite."

"And Loz?" Angeal asked. He hadn't seen much of the teen boy around lately. Sephiroth sighed.

"I'm afraid he's going to end up getting some girl pregnant. I can't control those kids. At least, ShinRa gave me a bigger place." Sephiroth lamented.

Angeal smiled sympathetically, patting Sephiroth on the shoulder.

"Well, on the plus side at least they all get along with Zack."

Sephiroth snorted at that. "Just barely."

Kadaj didn't get along with anyone. Yazoo was just plain anti-social unless he's was talking with someone just as conceited as he was. Loz was the only one that really got along with Zack. But then Loz was an animal and probably contemplating getting into his pants.

Sephiroth sighed again. "Ya know, if I didn't already have silver hair it'd have gone white by now."

Angeal chuckled at that. Between Genesis and Sephiroth, Angeal heard enough bitching from the two over the years to know they enjoyed the challenge of having to work for what they got.

"How's the puppy?" Sephiroth asked after downing the rest of his champagne. Angeal smiled fondly. He'd been taking care of Zack as part of a mentoring program ShinRa had funded to produce better SOLDIERS. Genesis got out of it by threatening to desert if the company stuck him with a kid. That ended talk of Genesis being a mentor. On the other, Angeal didn't mind.

When he first met Zack, he was a ball of timid energy, shyly looking up at Angeal behind dark bangs. As time passed, though he began to show more of what he was really like. Zack became a joy to be around. In time, they went from teacher student, father son, to best friends. Some people even said that Angeal was more approachable now, that Zack came into his life.

"He's doing great. He passed the 2nd class SOLDIER exam last week." Angeal responded nodding to an Executive that passed.

Sephiroth gave a sly smile. "Sounds like the puppies growing up. Pretty soon he won't need mentoring anymore."

Angeal sighed at that. "Don't remind me. Just thinking about it makes me feel old."

Sephiroth snorted at that. "Hardly. If Genesis heard you talking like that, you'd be in trouble."

Angeal grinned. He would be in trouble if Genesis caught wind of that. That would mean he was either getting old too, or that he had an old man fetish. Neither was appealing, even if Genesis was willing to try anything.

The festivities were winding down now. People were leaving tipsy-if they got drunk it would surely end up in the paper or in the news-the stragglers getting around to talk with people they didn't get a chance to.

Sephiroth left Angeal's side, saying he was tired and leaving. Angeal nodded his head, sipping champagne.

Soon, not many people were left except the maitre d' cleaning up what was left. Angeal downed the rest of his drink, feeling a nice warm buzz flood his system. Just as he set down his glass and turned to leave, Scarlett saddled up to him with a wide smile on her sickening face.

Up close, it was worse. Angeal could smell her god-awful perfume and caked on make-up she never bothered to fix during the night. Angeal had to fight the urge to recoil from her. He didn't bother putting on a fake smile. Instead, he kept his face perfectly neutral.

"Did you enjoy yourself?" Scarlett asked, casually laying her hand on Angeal's bicep. He really wanted to pull away now more than ever and put some distance between them. She continued on like nothing was happening, however and Angeal had to fight the urge to shake her hand from his arm.

"As best as can be expected, I suppose." Angeal replied, slightly backing up.

Scarlett only smiled at him, her eyes roaming over his upper body. Angeal had to hold in a shudder.

"Well, that's nice. I was so glad that I was finally able to get you alone." She replied, stroking his arm. The woman just didn't know when to give up. Angeal felt bile rise to the back of his throat. And suddenly, an inspiring idea came to him. He let the bile rise further and let the disgust he felt for Scarlett fuel it.

"I think I'm going to be sick." Angeal said, hoping she walked away before he really had to follow through.

She laughed that high pitch noise of hers and it only served to nauseate Angeal more. "My, had too much to drink have we?" Scarlett replied, taking a step closer not realizing that Angeal was doing this intentionally. So intentional in fact, that he'd reach the point of no return.

Angeal doubled over spilling the contents of his stomach all over Scarlett's red Gucci pumps. Scarlett let out a high pitched scream in horror and disgust. The remaining party goers turned in alarm, watching the scene unfold.

Angeal dry heaved making sure nothing was left to bother him later on. Scarlett stood motionless and horrified at what just happened. She looked down at her feet and paled. She swayed slightly, and then went pale and fainted.

Angeal stood straight again, turning to leave. He kept his face neutral, staggering away from the mess he made. He inwardly grinned maliciously, though. _'That will teach her to leave me alone.' _Angeal thought.

Finally outside, Angeal sighed. He would hear from Lazard in the morning. And he'd be lucky if Genesis and Sephiroth didn't catch wind of this. Although, as a SOLDIER luck was never really on his side. Sighing again, Angeal began walking.

There was no use in crying over split milk…or in this case vomit.

He had to consider this a victory. No one that he knew of had made Scarlett faint. He was sure that she would stop seeing him as a sex toy after this. After all, no one vomited on another person and still saw them as sexy, did they?

Angeal thought not.

He started to walk back to his apartment. Well, his and Zack's. It was already very late, Angeal noticed. The stink of smog ruined what could've been a nice night out. The overcast sky blotted out the moon and stars, the only illumination being the street lights and neon signs from restaurants.

Angeal tried not to breathe too deeply. He was a country boy. He'd never known such pollution, always used to the crisp, clean air of Banora. Yet, even then he couldn't get over his fascination with city.

He reached his apartment in no time flat. Digging around his pockets for his key, he finally pulled it out inserting it into the lock. Crossing the threshold, he saw the lights in the living room were on. They were set to dim, and he stopped momentarily to make sure he wasn't walking in on anything messy. His enhanced hearing didn't pick up anything from the living room, so he continued on.

The room was empty. He sighed in relief. Zack wasn't a kid anymore. Furthermore, he wasn't his kid. He didn't have a right to say he couldn't have company over. Still, it bothered him to think of it. He didn't bother turning the lights off as he crossed the room towards the bathroom. He really felt like he needed a shower.

Shucking his clothes as he closed the door, Angeal stepped into the shower grabbing the Nivea body wash for men. He quickly lathered up and rinsed off. After he dried off, he brushed his teeth, gathered up his clothes and left the bathroom.

Indecently, the bathroom was across the hall from Zack's room. Angeal walked by without much thought and heard something he knew he shouldn't have. He pressed his ear to the door, and heard the sounds of heavy breathing and groaning.

Angeal backpedaled fast, a blush creeping across his face. He hadn't meant to hear that. He had to remind himself that Zack wasn't a kid anymore…and that he wasn't his son…and that he was only dressed in a towel and if he barged in there it would be pretty awkward.

For all three of them.

Despite all this, Angeal pressed his ear to the door again hoping to find out who he was with.

"Ugh…ahh, ahh…Loz…"

Angeal frowned. That was Sephiroth's kid. His frown grew deeper as he kept listening. He drew away from the door and continued on to his own room. Despite everything Loz was a good kid deep down. Hopefully.

Angeal was a pretty good judge of character. He only hoped he wasn't wrong this time when it came to trusting his puppy. Zack deserved as much at least. Sighing, he dressed in his pajamas which consisted of a black tank top and plaid bottoms and tried to banish the sounds that Zack made playing on repeat in his mind.

* * *

A/N: Okay, first things first. Sephiroth's OOC because I'm pretty damned tired of seeing him as the cold type. I mean I know that's his personality, but still. I just want to see him show a lot more emotion than what's previously been seen.

He still hates Hojo, of course.

I don't like Scarlett. Plain and simple.

Angeal's probably gonna get screwed in the second or third chapter. This story is mainly centered around him. It will switch to Zack as well.

Oh yeah, another thing. I've read a lot of yaoi's where the character's use scented shampoos and body wash that smell like flowers and whatnot. I think that's unrealistic. I have gay friend's and only one of them uses scented stuff that smells like flowers. Everyone else I know uses the stuff for guys. So, in this story hopefully I'll portray the character's well enough that they're realistic enough. Main thing is, guy's use guy stuff.

Nothing really much else to say, except tell me what you think.

R&R, Plz!


	2. Scary Teenagers

**Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.2 Scary Teenagers**

Angeal woke to the sudden, incessant sound of knocking. Or rather banging, as the person on the other side of the door was none to patient. Angeal attempted to ignore the sound, when he heard the door open. He only caught a glimpse of red before he was subsequently glomped by Genesis.

"OH MY GOD! I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"

Angeal whined, burrowing his head underneath his pillow.

"Angeal!" Genesis grunted, trying to get his attention. Angeal looked up angrily at Genesis.

"What do you want, Gen?" Angeal replied through gritted teeth. Genesis pouted, looking petulantly at Angeal.

"I haven't seen you in three months and this is how you greet me?" Angeal sighed, sitting up slightly. He was still groggy from sleep, but even if he kicked Genesis out of his bed and attempted to go back to sleep, he wouldn't be able to.

"What is it?" Angeal replied, yawning and rubbing sleep from his eyes. Genesis grinned at him, then.

"So, word is you puked all over Scarlett last night at the executive party." Genesis said, grinning evilly. Angeal sighed, again. He was hoping for more time.

"Damn…if you know than the Director knows." Genesis nodded his head. "…I just hope he doesn't cut my paycheck."

Genesis scoffed. "Who cares about that?"

Angeal just gave him a look.

"When Sephiroth heard about it this morning, he almost choked on his breakfast, just so you know." That made Angeal smile. Genesis just shook his head. "Man, we must really be rubbing off on you if you find that stuff funny."

"Oh, and you don't?"

"Well, yeah…but I almost cried cause Septh was starting to look blue." Angeal chuckled at that. It was utterly ridiculous, but he couldn't help it.

"Oh, by the way Lazard's requesting our presence. Something about a new mission."

Angeal's laughter died immediately, and he frowned.

"Yeah, right. I bet he's so pissed right, now. Probably wants to get me off the premises before I cause another incident." Angeal replied, moodily. Genesis rolled his eyes.

"Oh, just come on. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?"

-:-

Angeal and Genesis walked towards the briefing room in silence together. The previous night's events caught up with him quickly, and he could feel the burning stares aimed at him. Though no one dared say anything with the hot-tempered Genesis nearby, Angeal felt humiliated regardless.

He couldn't believe he thought barfing all over Scarlett was a good idea. _Just goes to show I should never ever start drinking,_ Angeal thought.

He had a light pink blush adorning his face by the time he entered the briefing room. Besides Lazard, Sephiroth and Zack were also waiting in the room. Angeal schooled his face to look impassive, but both Sephiroth and Zack saw right through it.

He was still slightly uncomfortable with unintentionally finding out about Zack's sexual life. He promised himself though that he wouldn't bring it up. At least, not with Zack around.

Angeal pointedly avoided looking at Zack. Sephiroth noticed and raised a sliver eyebrow. Zack, on the other hand, became annoyed and glared at Angeal briefly before turning his attention to Lazard. Said director cleared his throat, giving Angeal an ephemeral glare before moving on to the issue at hand.

"As you all are wondering I'm sure, the reason I called you all here is because we have an issue that is in need of handling which ShinRa believes you are all suited best to deal with." Lazard remarked before tapping on the keyboard in front of him.

Several pictures of mutilated corpses appeared on the screen. The bodies torn to shreds to the point that one could not tell if they were man or woman.

Zack paled at the gruesome display. Angeal's face grew dour. Sephiroth, true to his cold exterior, stayed unmoved. Genesis just frowned.

Sephiroth studied the pictures of the maimed bodies with nothing short of an analytical eye as Lazard continued to skip through them.

"What caused this?" Although he was pretty sure it was some wild animal. Humans, no matter how strong, weren't capable of such brutality.

"That's just the thing? We don't know."

"Is this the reason why you requested that we all be here? Because you're sending us all to deal with this?" Angeal asked, rubbing his jaw.

Lazard nodded his head. "As you can see, this has the company concerned."

"These deaths occurred…where?" Genesis spoke up.

"Wutai."

All four men groaned at that. Despite the fact that Wutai and ShinRa were under treaty and technically allies now, it didn't mean that the country was all 'buddy buddy' now. There was still a rather large group of rebels that didn't agree and fought against everything ShinRa was trying to do.

"Let me guess…the murder victims are all from Midgar?" Zack spoke up.

"Actually, no. They all seem to be of Wutain descent. There were only two that weren't. One from Mideel, another from Costa del Sol."

They all processed what they'd been told, each at their own rate. Zack was first to break the silence.

"So, what now? We go find what's causing this and get rid of it?"

Lazard shook his head. "Unfortunately, no. Since we don't know what to expect this isn't a seek and destroy mission. This is solely a recon mission."

Sephiroth scoffed at that. "Isn't that the Turks job?"

Lazard knew this was coming, yet having the four annoyed men around him was a bit intimidating. "Yes, however, given the situation ShinRa believed it better that we send our three enhanced super SOLDIERS in, instead of a Turk." Lazard replied slyly.

The Trinity all glared at him, annoyance written on all of their faces. Zack on the hand wasn't sure where he fit in at any rate.

"So, umm…what about me?" He asked shyly.

"Well, you'll be going with them."

"Why?"

It was Angeal that said it and he instantly regretted it. Zack went from being slightly confused and unsure to being pissed off. It looked like Genesis and Sephiroth were actually rubbing off on him. Angeal sighed.

"Pup, that's not what I me—'' Angeal was cut off by Zack.

"Whatever."

Angeal sighed again.

Lazard watched the exchange before answering Zack's question.

"To start, you're a valuable asset to the company and you need real experience. All those missions you go on are nothing more than errands for the different department heads. You need something real, Zack." Lazard finished.

Angeal gave a quite sigh of relief. He was glad Lazard didn't go and tell Zack that he was being considered for first class. Angeal already made the recommendation. Now, he was just waiting for what happened next.

Other than that, he wasn't happy. If they wanted to test Zack, they could've sent him somewhere else. Anywhere else, but Wutai. Furthermore, he was more than just a valuable asset. At least to Angeal and others that knew him, he was.

"When do we leave?" Genesis asked once again.

Lazard turned to them. "As soon as you're ready."

-:-

Zack kept walking even though his name was being called. If it were anyone else, ignoring a superior officer would be consider insubordination. Yeah, Angeal was superior. In every single way.

Zack tried to shake the feelings of lust and need in order to stay angry, but he could never stay pissed for long. Especially, not at Angeal.

A strong hand landed on his shoulder and spun him around. Zack glared at Angeal, but faltered under his most apologetic look.

"Puppy, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Zack gave him a petulant pout because he was no longer angry with Angeal, but angry at himself for not being able to direct it towards him. He had to restrain himself with every ounce of willpower not to throw himself in Angeal's arms.

"Puppy…Zack, I'm sorry. I was being stupid. I was just worried." Now Zack just felt bad.

"I know. I'm sorry; I'm acting like such a kid." Zack replied.

Angeal only nodded with a small smile. "It's okay. I wouldn't expect anything less."

Zack inwardly winced at that. It was like Angeal slapped him in the face. It was maddening…and it hurt. Zack nodded his head, unable to continue looking at Angeal.

"I better go get ready."

Angeal hesitated than nodded. He could tell nothing was resolved and even worse that Zack felt hurt. He watched Zack walk down the hall and out of sight around the corner, than sighed.

"Hmm, seems like the puppy's love sick." Genesis said as he walked towards Angeal. Angeal opened his mouth to say something scathing, but then realized it could very well be that.

"Zack's dating Loz…I think. Perhaps, it has something to do with that?" Angeal replied.

Sephiroth scowled at hearing that. "I'll have a talk with Loz." Angeal smiled at Sephiroth.

"As much as I appreciate it, Seph, I don't think that will be necessary."

Both Genesis and Sephiroth looked equally stunned. "And why the hell not?" Genesis retorted.

"Because their relationship has already escalated into sex." Sephiroth stated matter of fact. He rubbed his temples, fighting back a headache. Angeal nodded sadly.

"Yes, I, uh, caught them last night."

Sephiroth's eyes shot open and Genesis's jaw dropped. "So, that's why I couldn't find the little bastard!"

Genesis tried to stifle a laugh. Angeal frowned. "Calm down. It's not like they were on the couch. I heard them. And Zack doesn't know _I know_ and _I_ would like to keep it that way. For now." Angeal replied.

Genesis shook his head, his auburn hair shifting with the movement. "Boy am I glad I didn't get roped into mentoring. Their all just a bunch of hormone driven teenagers."

Sephiroth gave him a look. "And what does that make you? You're not exactly mister saint john."

Genesis gave an indigent huff. "Oh, please! I am far from a teenager. Besides, _you_ never complain."

Sephiroth rolled his eyes.

-:-

Zack threw himself on his bed as soon as he entered Loz's room. Loz stood behind him in boot cut jeans that hung low on his hips and a white tank top. He crawled over Zack as he pressed kisses all over his body.

Zack had tears in his eyes, but stubbornly would not let them fall.

"It's not fair."

Loz kissed his neck, and then his cheek.

"He still sees me as nothing, but a kid."

He kissed his eyelids and licked away the tears.

"He actually ignored me when he walked into the briefing room!"

Loz wrapped his arms around Zack and held him tightly to his chest. He knew all about Zack's feelings towards Angeal, and he could sympathize. He, also, had strong feelings for someone.

"It's okay, baby. Angeal will eventually come around. He only worries for you." Loz finally replied, tucking Zack's head under his chin.

"But I love him!"

"I know."

"I want him…"

"…I know…" Loz replied slipping a hand lower to run a caress further down Zack's back. Zack shuddered, pressing his hips closer to Loz, gasping at the sudden pressure.

Loz chuckled using one hand to grip Zack's ass and the other to hold him in place as he rocked into him. Zack moaned, lifting one leg to wrap around Loz's waist as he rocked into him faster.

Loz groaned slipping a hand past the fabric of Zack's pants to knead his ass.

Zack held onto Loz's shoulders as he moaned helplessly, trapped in the rough fabric of his uniform pants. "W-want…need more…"

Loz nodded his head in understanding. He unzipped Zack's pants and maneuvered them down his hips and off his legs. Shifting again, so he was lying on his back and Zack was straddling his waist, Loz reached into the nightstand next to his bed and pulled out a tube of lotion and a condom.

"Sorry, all out of lube." Loz said, smirking slightly. Zack just rolled his eyes, not really caring. Loz was promiscuous by nature. Zack didn't mind this for the simple fact that Loz was a caring and an attentive lover. Furthermore, they were only friends…with benefits.

Loz knew Zack almost as intimately as Zack knew Angeal.

Zack didn't really believe it was fair to either of them what they were doing. They were substituting each other for people whom they couldn't have. It wasn't fair, but…all thought fled from Zack's mind as Loz inserted two fingers into him stabbing at his prostate. He had the uncanny ability to nail it every time they were together.

Zack breathed out a gasping, shuddering breath as he moved against Loz's hand. He braced his hands on Loz's bent knees trying to ride his hand as hard as possible.

Loz groaned at the display.

He loved watching Zack lose it.

Zack was practically screaming by now. He could cry he was so close, but Loz wasn't done yet. He pulled his fingers away from Zack, a keening moan and an annoyed look his only response.

Loz laughed.

Zack looked so adorable when he was frustrated.

Loz pulled his own pants down to his thighs and sheathed himself in the condom. Grabbing Zack's hips, he slowly guided him down on his cock. Zack whimpered at the first feel of penetration.

Loz only groaned.

He was so damned hot.

Zack had imagined on previous occasions what Angeal would feel like. Much bigger by comparison probably. It was the main reason why he and Loz were always so rough with each other.

They loved it rough.

Zack finally sank down fully on Loz. Both were trying to catch their breath like they'd run a marathon. Loz was trying to control himself, trying to give Zack sometime to adjust. When Zack was ready, he leaned over Loz letting his cock slip out almost to the head then sinking back down, roughly.

Loz gasped.

Zack was tightening around his cock every time he lifted up.

The feeling was fucking amazing.

Zack gave a long moan, and before he realized what he was doing he was riding Loz in earnest, nearly bouncing on his dick. Loz gasped, helping Zack raise himself higher and bringing him down roughly as he thrusted up into the inviting heat.

They were so close.

Loz rolled his hips and Zack saw stars. He let out a cry that he was sure the neighbors could hear and climaxed. The repeated spasmodic clenching of Zack's muscles brought Loz over the edge soon after. He gasped; bruising Zack's hips with the force he used slamming him down repeatedly until he was completely spent.

Zack lay on top of Loz, completely exhausted and satisfied. He snuggled against his chest no longer feeling angry. On the other hand however, his stomach growled seeking attention. Zack blushed slightly as Loz chuckled.

"Sorry." Zack murmured against the skin of Loz's collarbone.

"It's fine. It's not like I can blame. I'm actually proud of my work!" Loz replied, arrogantly. Zack pouted, looking down at Loz a little annoyed. This always happened. Whenever they got done having sex, Loz would get a major boost to his ego. It was kind of annoying.

"I'm joking."

"Sure you are." Zack replied.

Loz just shook his head, holding Zack close. He ran his fingers through Zack's spikes kneading the scalp. Zack sighed grateful for the attention, and snuggled closer as he lay next to Loz. Loz only smiled indulgently at Zack.

"Do you wanna talk about what happened?" Loz asked unexpectedly. It took Zack a moment to respond. He knew he should get it out in the open. He certainly couldn't tell Angeal about his feelings. But somehow it didn't feel right spilling all his problems on Loz. Then again, he was sure Loz would kick his ass if he knew why he was hesitating.

"Angeal was ignoring me. I know it sounds childish, but he didn't even look at me." Zack began, taking a deep breath. Loz just continued stroking Zack's hair.

"He probably had a reason, baby. Maybe he was embarrassed." Loz replied. Zack looked thoughtful for a moment.

"Embarrassed about what?"

"You didn't hear?"

"No."

Loz grinned wide. "I heard Angeal threw up all over Scarlett of Weapons Development."

Zack's jaw dropped at that revelation. For several minutes he was utterly speechless. "Now that you mention it, Angeal's face was little flush. Ya know, I thought he'd be able to hold his liquor," was the first thing out of Zack's mouth.

Loz laughed in earnest. Zack sighed, however.

"Damn, now I have to go apologize for being bratty." Zack said, burrowing deeper into Loz's side. He held on like he didn't want to let go.

"I'm sure he won't mind." Loz replied.

Zack opened his mouth to say something, when the front door opened. They both froze and strained their ears listening. The footsteps headed in their direction and stopped in front of Loz's door.

"Loz get dressed and Zack you should be getting ready for the mission! Not screwing around!" Sephiroth shouted walking away into the kitchen.

Zack blushed furiously, and Loz looked at Zack. "You didn't say were going on a mission?" Loz asked.

"Yeah, that was the reason why I was in the briefing room in the first place. Sorry, I didn't mention it. It's nothing dangerous just a simple recon mission."

"Isn't that the Turks job?"

"Yeah, but nobody in Wutai trusts Turks."

Zack had a point on that one. Loz got up pulling up his pants and Zack did the same. Zack kissed Loz as he left the rather large apartment.

-:-

After Angeal had finished packing his bag, mostly with the bare necessities, he grabbed his buster sword and waited on the roof of the heliport briefly stopping by Zack's room to tell him he was going on ahead. Despite the fact that Zack was still angry with him, Angeal didn't want it to get to the point where he started to avoid Zack. He knew his puppy needed his space, but he also knew leaving without saying anything would just make things worse.

He was waiting for ten minutes before Genesis showed up. As usual, his overly stuffed duffel bag containing more things than he needed, hanging off one shoulder awkwardly. Angeal smirked at him, knowingly.

"What's wrong? Couldn't get one of the cadets to drag your stuff along this time?" Angeal mocked. Genesis just glared at Angeal's half smile.

He rolled his eyes replying, "Kenny broke up with me."

Angeal's smiles disappeared. "I'm sorry, Gen."

"It's fine. We weren't serious anyway." Genesis said, smiling at him sweetly.

Angeal gave him a look that said he clearly didn't believe him, but would drop it for the sake of Genesis's dignity. Just then the door to the roof banged open, and Zack walked out followed by a red headed Turk.

Angeal tensed slightly, but then grew alarmed as he saw Zack's eyes.

"Zack? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little a tired." Zack lied, faking a yawn and rubbing his right eye. Angeal knew he was lying, but didn't mention a thing. He heard from Sephiroth that Zack was with Loz last night. He wondered if their relationship was taking a turn for the worst.

Angeal gazed at Zack, worriedly. Seeing this, Zack couldn't really be too sad. At least he knew Angeal cared for him, even if it wasn't the way he wanted to be cared for. The red haired Turk, Reno, got in the chopper and began firing it up. The sleek blades eating up the air, and beating the wind into a frenzy.

Genesis got in the chopper followed by Zack. Angeal waited outside for Sephiroth, and just as he was about to board the chopper he saw Sephiroth make his way toward the chopper, a blond head stopping him by the door and handing him something.

Angeal couldn't see them quite well as they were half hidden by the door, but he noticed Sephiroth bend his head down slightly. When he pulled back and turned toward the chopper he had an uncharacteristic smile on his face.

Angeal blinked and stared at Sephiroth.

"Not a word." Sephiroth replied as he neared and tried to wipe the smile off his face. Angeal only nodded, smiling softly.

They both climbed into the chopper, shutting the door as they buckled themselves in. Angeal gave Reno the thumbs up to proceed, and they started to lift off in the polluted air of Midgar. Although far up, the pollution still rose above the plate.

In the perpetual night sky of Midgar, the sleek black helicopter flew off towards the west in search of the land of the setting sun.

* * *

Author's note: Can anyone guess who the blonde is? Yeah, right it's no secret. Although, this story is mainly Zangeal, it will have some Sephiroth and Cloud, too.

BTW, its Cloud from Advent Children. At least, his character design. I don't like his personality in that one, so the way he acts in mostly going to be my own interpretation and him from the original final fantasy 7.

Also, I figured I'd write down some smut in this chapter. I'd originally planned to in another chapter, but then said what the hell? I hope its satisfying.

Also, next chapter is definitely the chapter where Angeal gets bit, so stay tuned for that!


	3. Old Fears

Disclaimer: This one is pretty long, so it should make up for the wait.

**

* * *

Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.3 Old Fears**

The air was clean here. It was one of the few places SOLDIERS were able to frequent due to the abundance of mako stored in the area. Wutai was a place of natural beauty, and it only made sense that it would make people let their guard down. At least during the day when the sun was out.

Even with all its natural wonders, Wutai was still a very dangerous place. Monsters roamed the areas outside of villages and the country still had its own crime rate. Wutai would never become worse than Midgar, though.

Reno set the chopper down in a clearing, just outside of the town of Saokoro. Sephiroth jumped out of the helicopter before it was done powering down, and Angeal and Genesis did the same. Zack lagged behind a bit, not wanting to get in the way.

Sephiroth turned toward the other three, slipping on his other persona as the General of the ShinRa army just as easily as he would slip on a pair of slippers.

"We'll stop in at the inn, first. Get some food, and then we'll get to work. Angeal and Zack will question the locals. Genesis and I will go through the archives to find anything ShinRa might have missed, or weren't informed of. Is that clear?" Sephiroth said, half turning away to start walking into town. He didn't really expect anyone to disagree, and true to his intuition no one did.

Walking into town took them five minutes and even longer to find anyone. The place looked like a ghost town. The streets were deserted and even creepier was the lack of response to their booted steps through the hallowed streets.

"Seph?" Angeal said looking for Sephiroth's attention.

"I know." Sephiroth replied.

There was nothing. The stalls were empty of goods and vendors. The windows boarded up. There were no sounds coming from the houses lining the lanes. Even the sounds of the wildlife around the area seemed to disappear.

"I don't like this." Genesis remarked, his hand on his crimson blade.

Sephiroth himself had every one of his senses reaching outward trying to spot some sign of life. It didn't seem to work. Despite Zack's feelings, even he walked closer to Angeal who only smiled at him reassuringly and wound his arm around his shoulders.

"Ah, there…" Sephiroth said, quickening his pace slightly.

He led the small group to what looked like an inn. One that still held some sign of life. Sephiroth slowed his pace, and eased the door open a fraction. He poked his head in slightly, looking left and right. Stepping inside the inn fully, he assessed the area.

It had a warm, homey feeling to it. It looked like a place people would spend time at after work. It seemed to double as a restaurant and a bar, as well.

As soon as the others walked in however, the atmosphere changed to one of fear and tenses. An old man Sephiroth hadn't spotted on his initial sweep of the place, held a double barreled shotgun at the group. Luckily for them, the old man had sense enough to not shoot first.

"Who are you and what are you doing in this town? There's no one here or can't you tell?" The old man demanded. Sephiroth stepped forward raising his hands, and drawing the old man's attention. He always was a martyr.

"We're not here to start anything or cause trouble. We're from ShinRa, here to investigate the deaths here."

The old man stared at him for a few minutes longer, trying to weigh the outcome of danger. He seemed to think that Sephiroth was telling the truth because he lowered the barrel a fraction.

"ShinRa, eh? What's your name?"

"I'm General Sephiroth. The ones behind me are Angeal Hewley, Genesis Rhapsodos and Zack Fair."

"Sephiroth…? Now, what would the demon of Wutai want with a small little village, like this one?" The old man said, raising his gun again and keeping it on Sephiroth this time.

"I assure you, we are only here to investigate."

The old man held Sephiroth's stare for a long moment before lowering his gun to the floor, again. "My name is Eraqus. You'll have to excuse me; there hasn't been anyone in this village for months." The old man, Eraqus, replied. He had long curly dark hair graying at his temples, and a goatee. His face and hands were lined with age, and a wisdom that could only be earned.

Eraqus walked behind the bar, placing the gun beneath it and nodding for the SOLDIERS to take a seat.

-:-

After they'd eaten, Sephiroth and Genesis went off to file through the archives leaving Angeal and Zack to speak to the only person still left in town.

"What exactly happened here?" Angeal asked, sipping tea.

"The murders. They started happening in the woods. No one really paid too much attention then. People would generally tell their children not to play in the woods. Everyone thought it was just monsters until they started happening in town." Eraqus replied drying a glass with a white rag. Angeal waited for him to continue.

"It started on the outskirts…so; people still thought it might have been monsters straying too far from their homes."

"And no one thought to do anything about it?" Zack asked, skeptical.

Eraqus gave him an annoyed look. "It's generally thought in Wutai that if you get attacked by monsters that you're _stupid_ and _should_ be eaten." There was emphasis in the way he spoke like he was stating it as more than a fact. "When you are young, you learn to coexist with nature and all of Gaia's children. Not just humans." Eraqus said his dark eyes boring into Zack's.

Zack looked away unable to keep the man's glare. He was by no means a chump, but there was something about the man that just made those around him respect and listen to him. The feeling was similar to when he first met Angeal, even though he was just an awestruck child then.

Angeal interrupted the tense moment with a glare of his own aimed at Eraqus.

"Have you been to the areas where the murders took place?"

"Of course not! I'm not stupid. I'm too old for that shit." Eraqus replied indigently. Angeal smiled at the old man, nodding. "Anyway, when it started happening closer to the center of town, that's when people started to panic. Bodies were being left out in the open, on families' doorsteps. Everyone started getting fed up and left for the next town over." Eraqus replied waving a hand airily.

"Why didn't you go?" Zack asked, once again breaking the silence.

Eraqus heaved a sigh. "I'm too old to start over from scratch. This tavern is all I've got. It's been passed down from my father's father to me. I'm not going anywhere because someone or something wants to drive away all my business."

"Someone?" Angeal quoted.

Eraqus nodded. "People started thinking it might've been a serial killer. I never saw any of the bodies, but from what I heard they were all pretty tore up. It could've been some psycho, or it could've been a monster." Eraqus shrugged.

Zack thought the man's explanation was suspicious, but didn't comment. Angeal, however, nodded. Thanking him he rose to leave. When he was almost to the door, Eraqus said, "Watch yourself. Whatever this is, it's not gone. I can hear it at night sometimes. It's real sneaky. If you hunt it, don't underestimate it."

Angeal nodded and left.

"Do you believe his story?" Zack asked, peering up at Angeal from behind dark bangs. Angeal didn't stop to look at him only kept walking. When they turned a corner, Angeal spoke up.

"I believe him."

"But don't you think he was kind of suspicious?"

Angeal smiled down at him.

"Zack, if what Eraqus said was true, than he's been alone for quite some time. Longer than any human being should have to endure. Humans are social creatures."

They walked along in silence for a few minutes until Zack spoke up again.

"So, what you're saying is that he's…lonely?" Zack inquired, looking up at Angeal again. Angeal nodded his head.

"Exactly…you didn't take notice from the mini lectures he was giving you about the planet? He hasn't spoken to someone in months." Angeal replied. Zack was quite after that.

He hadn't really thought of it like that. And by what the old man said, he was practically calling all SOLDIERS stupid. SOLDIERS got attacked by monsters quite often…and ShinRa didn't seem like it could coexist with anyone. They were always pushing others around, taking their land and pushing them out.

But Zack wouldn't second guess his convictions. He joined ShinRa for a reason, and it was to become a hero. Just like Sephiroth…just like Angeal. Zack discreetly looked at Angeal from the corner of his eye, and silently checked him out.

If there was ever a definition of total manliness, Angeal was it. He had a strong jaw with dark stubble surrounding perfect lips. A straight nose that preceded intense dark eyes. Short dark hair that would occasionally become unruly and obscure his face. Long dark eyelashes, that only made his gaze that much more penetrating.

Zack flushed as he looked away. His body began reacting faster than his mind could process that Angeal was, indeed, sexy. His throat became dry, and his knees wobbly. He had to constantly shift and watch where he was walking as his pants grew uncomfortably tight.

"Getting restless, puppy?" Angeal said. He looked over to Zack with a warm smile and reached a hand up to ruffle his wild black spikes. Zack only sighed at the use of his nickname.

"I'm fine…"

Angeal watched him closely, noticing his flushed face. "Are you okay?" He asked raising his hand again to feel Zack's forehead. Zack moved away at the last minute however.

"I'm fine! Stop treating me like a baby!" Zack shouted, his voice echoing in the empty town. Angeal looked shocked and hurt, Zack thought.

"I'm sorry. I just thought you might not be feeling well." Angeal replied frowning. Zack mentally kicked himself. He hadn't meant to shout. Especially not at Angeal for only acting like a concerned parent. He couldn't meet his eyes as they started walking again.

They were close to the annex building that Sephiroth and Genesis were using to view the records that were being kept on the murders. The building was unnaturally quite. The sound of their footsteps echoed in the distance.

Both Zack and Angeal could hear a high pitched squeal as they made their way closer still towards the interior of the building. Turning a corner, they almost ran into Sephiroth as he tried to escape Genesis.

"You cannot just leave after dropping a bombshell like that!" Genesis shouted rounding the corner after Sephiroth.

"Drop it, damn it! I didn't even mean to tell you!" Sephiroth yelled back, his face slightly flush. Zack stepped behind Angeal, poking his head out to the side to watch the confrontation. Angeal just sighed as they continued to argue.

"What's going on?" Angeal voiced breaking through Genesis and Sephiroth's annoying chatter.

"Seph's dating someone!" Genesis replied. Angeal's eyes widened as he looked back toward Sephiroth, noticing for the first time that the flush he thought was of exertion was actually a blush of embarrassment. Sephiroth never blushed.

"Really? Who is it?" Zack asked running away from his hiding place behind Angeal to stand in front of Sephiroth, instead.

"It's not important! Now, let it go!"

"Is it someone I know?" From Zack, bouncing on the balls of his feet in front of Sephiroth.

"No!"

"Maybe a cadet?" From Angeal coming to stand behind Zack.

"Would you, please-''

"Oh, it better not be a woman!" Shouted Genesis as he came closer.

"That is it! I've had it!" Sephiroth screamed at the top of his lungs drawing Masamune from his hip. He swung his sword clearing the way, and lunging forward at the nearest person who hadn't moved, which happened to be Genesis.

Genesis jumped back, startled. He turned and ran out of the room, Sephiroth close on his heels. Moving on instinct Angeal ran after them.

"Seph! You can't destroy the building!" Angeal's words went unheard as Sephiroth continued on in his pursuit. He had, had enough. Everyone was always prying into his business.

What hair products did he use? Did he eat steak? Did he like hentai? Who was he fucking? Was he bisexual? How did he get his hair to be so straight and long?

People didn't realize that the constant questions were slowly driving him crazy. No one cared so long as they satisfied their curiosity. They were all just a bunch of narrow-minded assholes that didn't think twice about other's personal space. Sephiroth especially hated these people. And now, his two best friends and the puppy were doing the same thing.

He growled in anger, turned and headed in the opposite direction. Genesis stopped running when he realized he wasn't being chased anymore. Turning he caught sight of Sephiroth's black coat as he rounded a corner.

"Seph, wait!" Angeal hollered as Sephiroth left slamming the door behind him. Angeal sighed, a resigned look coming across his face.

"Should we go apologize?" Zack asked looking at Angeal's face.

"No, not yet. Just give him his space." Angeal replied shaking his head. Genesis poked his head out from behind a bookcase, searching the room for Sephiroth.

"So…"

"So, we pissed him off." Angeal replied to Genesis's unspoken question.

"Whoops…" Genesis replied.

-:-

It had been hours since Sephiroth walked out on his three friends. He knew he shouldn't have done such a thing, but being surrounded and interrogated was beginning to suffocate him. He needed to be watched over just as much as anyone else, but more than anything he needed his space.

Sephiroth sighed, pulling out his PHS. His was a specially designed phone. It was sleek and black and had a bunch of different gadgets he didn't really need. He went to his contact list and scrolled through until he came to C.S. Dialing; he waited until someone answered or until he got voicemail.

He got his wish when a slightly apathetic male voice picked up on the other line.

"_Cloud Strife delivery service, how may I help you?"_ Over the last couple of years, it had become automatic and he didn't even look at the caller ID to see who it was anymore. Sephiroth smiled, fondly.

"Hey." He said quietly.

"_Seph!"_ Cloud replied happily. _"Just give me a sec."_ Sephiroth waited patiently, yearning to hear his lovers' voice. _"Sorry, had to move to another room. I didn't want Tifa to overhear."_ The couple had been dating for two years, and still had yet to go public with their relationship. They hadn't even told their friends, it was that secret.

"It's fine." Sephiroth replied.

"_How are you? You sound tired."_ Cloud questioned. Sephiroth smiled at his concern.

"Yeah, I guess I am. Genesis found out." Cloud was quite for several seconds.

"_Is that good?"_

"He doesn't know anything…yet. He only knows I'm dating, but…he'll find out as soon as we get back."

"_Why is that?"_

"Because I plan on seeing you as soon as I get off the helicopter." Cloud chuckled softly into the phone.

"_I miss you."_

"I miss you too, babe." Sephiroth replied. He wasn't sure, but it felt like his heart ached at saying it. When he was away from Cloud, it was like he could feel psychical pain. Part of the reason why they hadn't told anyone about their relationship was because; Sephiroth didn't want anything to happen to Cloud.

Cloud could take care of himself, but there were so many ways to hurt a person…and there were so many different people that could hurt him. The jealous fan clubs, Wutai spies and assassins, ShinRa, Hojo…anyone who had beef with Sephiroth would have something against Cloud.

He finally found someone he could love and that would love him back. He didn't want to lose that.

"_Seph…"_

"Hmm?"

"_I…I wouldn't mind if…y-you wanted to tell them."_ Cloud muttered, quietly. It was Sephiroth's turn to become silent.

"Do you want us to become public?" Sephiroth asked, after a few tense minutes. Cloud was quiet again.

"_I don't want to hide anymore. I love you. I'm not afraid of what someone might do or think."_ Cloud said, with fire in his voice.

"I am." Sephiroth replied without hesitation.

"_What's that mean?"_ Cloud asked carefully. Sephiroth sighed. He didn't like to make his fears known, especially to Cloud. But he suspected that if he didn't clear this up now, he would be sleeping alone when he got back to Midgar.

"Cloud…" He made a strangled noise, "…I'm scared. What if something where to happen to you? What if some crazy fan or Wutain spy or assassin finds out that I'm dating and tries something? What if…Hojo finds out?"

Cloud was quiet for several long minutes. _"I see you've been thinking about this a lot."_ He joked. Sephiroth laughed.

"This is serious." He tried but continued to chuckle all the same.

"_Hmm, that it is. But still…no matter what happens, I know that you'll be there to sweep me off my feet." _

It was slightly scary for Cloud to hear Sephiroth admit that he was scared. Sephiroth had always been a source of confidence for Cloud. He was a pillar of strength and love, and yet…he was also fragile and still human.

Cloud could never forget that. And at the same time, it made Cloud happy that he was able to hear it and assuage his fears.

"Cloud…" Sephiroth said with a hint of fondness.

"_No matter what happens, I'll always love you and nothing can tear us apart. Not even Hojo. It's not over until you say so."_ Cloud replied softly.

Sephiroth smiled, butterflies fluttering in his stomach. Cloud always had the power to make him feel good. He was still worried though, and no matter what kind of reassurances Cloud offered it didn't take away his fear. But he was happy all the same.

"I love you." Sephiroth breathed.

"_I love you too, baby."_ Cloud replied.

_This is fleeting happiness. It can't last_, Sephiroth thought as he hung up.

-:-

The sun was on the horizon, turning the sky colors of orange and red. The village looked ominous, the atmosphere seemingly like a Mexican standoff. Zack was sure something was going to go down. Sephiroth had yet to show up, Genesis was moping in a corner, and Angeal was drinking with Eraqus.

With each drink Angeal seemed more relaxed, and treated him more like an adult than a child. Zack was finding it easier to talk to Angeal in this state than when he was normally sober. He began laughing together again, and making jokes. Eraqus joined in every now and again, but the night was mostly for Angeal and Zack.

The door to the inn was pushed in and Sephiroth walked in. Genesis's head whipped up and he opened his mouth to utter an apology, but closed it when he saw Sephiroth tense. The smile on Angeal's face died and became somber.

"Seph-" Angeal began, but Sephiroth attempted to cut him off by walking away.

"Seph, wait! Look, we're sorry! We didn't mean to pry." Angeal said standing. Sephiroth stopped walking and folded his arms.

"My friend, your desire is the bringer of life, the gift of the goddess." Genesis quoted, sweeping his arms out toward Sephiroth.

Sephiroth smiled.

"Is that your version of an apology?" Sephiroth said turning to look at Genesis.

"Depends. Do you accept?" Genesis replied. Sephiroth turned to them, pretending to think it over.

"Seph…we got carried away. We're just happy for you." Angeal said, smiling. Sephiroth looked up at him. Then at Genesis and Zack. He could tell they were sorry. Sephiroth sighed, a little annoyed they even had to go through this.

"Alright…I accept." Sephiroth replied.

They all collectively sighed a breath of relief. Sephiroth rolled his eyes. Angeal grinned at him.

"Wanna have a drink with us?" Sephiroth smiled but shook his head.

"I'm tired. I think I'll just go to sleep." Angeal nodded his head watching as Sephiroth disappeared upstairs.

"Your friend has the right idea. You all should rest now." Eraqus spoke, taking Angeal's empty shot glass and Zack's empty bottle of Mountain Dew. Angeal nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, it's getting late. Come on, pup. Let's get to bed." Zack pouted at the nickname.

"I'm not tired." He responded. Eraqus chuckled.

"You are still young, yet you still need rest." Zack only glared annoyed, and followed Angeal upstairs to their shared room.

-:-

"Angeal? Who do you think Sephiroth is seeing?" Zack asked, as he put on grey shorts and a blue shirt for bed. Angeal shrugged taking off his shirt for bed. The air was slightly moist and he didn't feel like sleeping with a shirt on. He would never know what that one action did to Zack personally.

"I don't know, but I…we really shouldn't be talking about this. I think it's the alcohol getting to me." Angeal replied, flopping down on his bed. Zack hadn't realized he'd been staring at Angeal. His eyes roamed over his upper body, and devoured his pectorals and nipples. Zack swallowed his throat suddenly dry.

He slowly turned in the opposite direction so that he wouldn't get a spontaneous nosebleed.

"But what?" Zack questioned pulling his shirt down and getting into bed.

"Well, I saw him talking to a blond before we left. I didn't get a look at who it was, though."

"Oh." Was all Zack said.

-:-

About one hour into the night Zack was still awake and restlessly shifting in his bed. Angeal awoke, and looked over to Zack's bed.

"Zack?"

"…Did I wake you?"

"What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep."

Angeal sighed. "Quite your mind, Zack. Make it a blank slate."

There was silence for a few moments, before Zack spoke again.

"Angeal?"

"Yes?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Zack, you're too old for that."

"Please. Just this once."

"Zack-"

"I can't sleep, Angeal." Zack replied softly using his needy hurt voice. Angeal could never say no to him when he used that voice. A few seconds went by before Zack got his answer.

"Fine," Angeal gruffly replied, "but don't move around so much."

Zack smiled softly moving into Angeal's bed. He wrapped his arms around his torso and snuggled close. Angeal smiled in the dark, wrapping an arm around Zack as they fell asleep.

-:-

Angeal woke suddenly. His breathing was erratic, and he felt warm all over. A pleasant weight made itself known on top of him as Zack stirred slightly. Angeal looked down and saw Zack had somehow shifted himself to lie on top of him.

Zack snuggled into him more and brushed one of his nipples causing Angeal to gasp. His breathing became even more erratic and he noticed for the first time, the throbbing hardness in between his legs. Zack's leg was pressed up against it, shifting occasionally as he did. Angeal bit his lip to stop himself from crying out in pleasure.

This was so wrong. He should _not_ in any situation be hard with Zack on top of him. He slowly inched Zack off of him as he slipped off of the bed. The agonizing process took ten minutes, all the while Zack continued to shift and rub against his clothed cock. By the time he was able to get out of bed, he had a raging hard on and he felt much too hot.

Angeal looked down at Zack sleeping peacefully in his bed with his shorts slightly rolled up passed the thigh and his shirt hiked up passed his stomach. His mouth watered at the lovely sight. Zack was gorgeous and the fact only served to inflame Angeal's desire. He shook his head.

He shouldn't be feeling that way about Zack! After all, he was his student! But his dick tenting his pants said differently. He grabbed a discarded t-shirt from the floor and left the room. He needed cool fresh air.

-:-

The cool air of the night kissed Angeal's bare arms making him shiver, slightly. Though it was a welcome change from the stuffy, hot room it only frustrated Angeal more. His body temperature hadn't cooled to a point where he could sleep peacefully, again.

And then there was the problem between his legs. The one that was insistent and wouldn't go away completely. Images of Zack kept flashing through his mind, growing more lewd the more he kept dwelling on it. Angeal had half a mind to pull his night pants down and relive himself of the painful burden, but decided against it.

Though, there was no one in the village, he just couldn't see himself jerking off in the middle of nowhere.

Knowing he probably shouldn't didn't stop Angeal from entering the woods. He felt more comfortable in the life-giving scenery. The moon shone through the trees, illuminating everything around him and casting shadows on the ground.

The babbling of nearby brooks and singing crickets, kept Angeal company. The surrounding trees shielded him from the worst of the wind. The cool air calmed him enough, making him feel sleepily, again.

The throbbing between his legs numbed out enough that it wasn't as pressing a concern as it was when he left the inn. After what felt like hours of walking Angeal finally came to a clearing in the woods. The moon shone down revealing a grassy glade surrounded by brush and trees.

Moving to stand in the middle he spun around in a slow circle, taking in his surroundings. There were flowers hidden on the edge of the clearing, making Angeal feel right at home. He stepped closer taking a better look and noticed red spots staining parts of the ground and the brush.

Frowning, Angeal stepped closer to inspect it better. The red stains coated a wide area, spanning from one side of the clearing to the other. Angeal traced the stains with his eyes and noticed the clearing was awash in the strange red fluid.

Crouching, he dipped his finger into the mess and brought it to his nose. It had a metallic smell to it and with horrible clarity Angeal realized he walked in on a killing ground.

Eyes wide and heart hammering, Angeal straightened. He turned and walked back the way he came. After a few minutes of walking, he abruptly stopped. Cocking his head to the side, Angeal listened.

Everything was so quiet. Like the calm before the storm. The sounds of noisy crickets were gone. The wind seemed to stop altogether. The moon chose that time to go into hiding, the woods darkening considerably. Angeal's mako eyes lit up the way faintly.

The shadows seemed to surround Angeal. Closing in on him to suck him in. Angeal's eyes darted back and forth. The shadows seemed to come alive, jumping at him from the peripheral of his vision. He thought he was seeing things. He continued walking. Stopping and gawking at shadows weren't going to get him anywhere.

He quickened his pace just to be sure.

-:-

After hours of back tracking and retracing his steps, Angeal was pretty sure of two things; he was lost and he was being stalked. Neither was any good. Whatever it was following him he only caught glimpses of in his peripheral.

Whenever he turned his head to see what it was, it always vanished. It made Angeal nervous. He continued walking knowing the second he let his fear show, the second he broke pace and started to run, whatever it was stalking him would make its move.

Angeal kept walking…and it brushed passed the back of his legs.

Angeal jumped, spinning around trying to catch what had brushed by him…and again it was long gone from sight. Angeal's heart hammered away in his chest, his muscles tense and ready for action. He took a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. Perhaps it was just some skunk, and he was letting lack of sleep get to him.

After all, he was in middle of the woods in the middle of the night.

Angeal shook his head, turning to leave again once his heart rate went back to normal. He was not, on the other hand, expecting a giant dusty red wolf with a light speckling of black to be staring right at him. Angeal swallowed reflexively, tensing.

The animal seemed amused by his purely defensive actions. It stared at him, cocking its head to the side. If Angeal didn't know any better, he'd wondered if it was smirking at him. The wolf seemed unnaturally large, taking up a large space blocking Angeal's way out completely.

Angeal attempted to walk around it, but found its head following him like prey. It seemed to say, _'where do you think you're going?' _Angeal frowned at it. It didn't seem to want to harm him, but then why was it blocking his way?

"I need to leave…move?" Angeal said, placing his hands on his hips and cocking his head at the mongrel.

Its eyes narrowed, staring at Angeal with an annoyance and slight anger. Its lips pulled back in a snarl, showing off an impressive set of razor sharp and jagged edge teeth. Angeal unconsciously took a step back…and the wolf rose up on its front paws and pounced, tearing into Angeal.

* * *

Author's note: Yeah, so I think I had plenty of time to work on this. I mean, ditching my school work and writing. Surprisingly, my grades haven't fallen below a C. Although, that might change soon.

Anyway, some points of interest...finally got Dragon age:Origins, Birth by Sleep, and Super Street Fighter 4...and...um...

Oh, yeah!

I think i made the scene with Sephiroth and Cloud slightly more mushy than I intended, so sorry for that.

I had a thought, but then i forgot it. So...

R&R, Plz!

(oh, that's what it was! For those of you that have played Kingdom Hearts birth by sleep, you'll recognize the old man in this chapter.)


	4. Devil's Getting Married

**Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.4 Devil's Getting Married**

Zack slowly came into consciousness, first noticing that Angeal wasn't with him. That familiar warmth didn't surround his entire body. He cracked his eyes open realizing oddly that it was morning, but still fairly dark out. The sun was taking its sweet time coming out this morning, waiting for just the right moment to startle everyone with its suddenness.

Zack rolled over on his back, staring at the ceiling. He was surprisingly alert for just having woken up. He sat up, looking for any sign of Angeal and found none. It looked like he left during the night, which Zack confirmed because his side of the bed was no longer warm but cold with his absence.

He felt a pang of hurt and sadness. Had Angeal left in the middle of the night because he couldn't be in the same bed with him? Did he go too far?

Zack felt his throat clam up and his eyes burn with unshed tears.

He felt abandoned.

Yet somehow, another feeling came bubbling up and it wasn't sadness. Zack felt apprehensive and didn't know why. For some reason, he knew something horrible was happening or going to happen.

For that reason, he left his shared room and went to find his other two friends and comrades.

-:-

There was knocking at his door that he tried to ignore, but the ceaseless noise only grew louder. Genesis rolled over in bed and glared at Sephiroth, who was doing everything in his power to ignore the noise.

"I know you're awake. Go answer it." He grumbled, burying his head underneath the pillow. Sephiroth continued to ignore the noise, burrowing deeper into his comforter. Genesis snarled, snatching the covers away from his body.

He stood, swiftly walking towards the door, and flinging it open. He glared at the quivering mass in the hallway. Zack stood on the other side of the door shivering from the cold creeping up his bare legs.

"What the hell? Zack, what are you doing here?" Genesis asked confused. Zack shuffled his feet trying to keep from shivering. Genesis beckoned him inside, shutting the door as he came in.

"Um…did Angeal come by?" Zack asked, shifting restlessly.

"No…why would he?" Genesis replied. Sephiroth poked his head out from under his covers watching Zack as he continued to pace back and forth.

"He's not in our room, and I don't think he's been there all night."

"How can you tell?" Sephiroth asked, sitting up.

"His side of the bed was cold." Zack replied before he realized what he said and flushed a deep crimson. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment. Genesis, also, wisely decided to keep quite.

"He couldn't have been gone for long." Sephiroth said.

Zack shook his head worriedly. "I can't remember a time he would just leave like this."

"…and besides, when have we ever known Angeal to leave without a word to any of us? While we're on a mission? He would have at least left us a note." Genesis said, defending Zack. The more Sephiroth thought it over, the more worried he became. It was unlike Angeal to just up and leave without a word to anyone, true, but at the same time he was a grown man. He didn't need to tell anyone where he was going if he wanted to be by himself.

These thoughts wrestled within Sephiroth until he looked at Zack. He realized all he needed to do, and that was put Zack at ease by humoring him.

"Alright, we'll go look for him. I don't think it's anything serious, but we'll do a quick search of the area." Sephiroth said untangling the sheets from around his legs. He stood, stretching out his limbs from their stiff sleep. Sighing, he dug out a pair of jeans from his duffle bag and slipped them on along with a pair of black boots.

"Well, are we going or what?"

-:-

After stopping by Zack's shared room with Angeal, he came out a little more decent with long grey sweats on and white sneakers. Zack was so worried that he didn't even register that Sephiroth had bed hair. The frayed ends went in each direction, not responding to Sephiroth's attempts to smooth them out.

Genesis stood next to Zack, scanning the dark town. The sun was just over the line of trees still hiding behind clouds.

"It looks like it might rain." Genesis spoke, nodding towards the dark clouds. Sephiroth looked toward the rolling thunders and sighed. Genesis was right. It was going to rain. Now his hair wouldn't be just tangled but matted down with rain, too. He sighed again, suddenly feeling irked.

"Angeal had better be dying, damnit." Sephiroth said, aloud. "Alright, look. Since, we obviously don't know where he is, we'll spilt up. Zack, you're coming with me into the woods. Genesis, you give the town a once over and then come join us alright."

Genesis was uneasy about the arrangement as was Zack.

"Uh, Seph…who knows how big those woods are? Plus, it's still dark. You could get lost easy in there." Genesis spoke carefully. Sephiroth seemed to consider this before he spoke again.

"Which is exactly why I'm taking Zack with me. He'll watch my back…and besides I have a feeling Angeal will be there."

"Then why are we splitting up?" Zack asked, staring between the two.

"Just in case I'm wrong." Sephiroth replied, running his fingers through his heavy hair. Genesis nodded, accepting this.

"Well than if we're all in agreement, let's get moving."

Everyone nodded going in their respective directions. Genesis started his search on the west side of town, and Zack followed Sephiroth into the foreboding woods.

-:-

Sephiroth couldn't help but have a feeling of dread well in the pit of his stomach as he walked over fallen branches and stepped over twigs. He thought he did a good job of hiding it from Zack, though he didn't know for how much longer he could keep it up.

It had started to rain lightly, the water matting Sephiroth's hair firmly and he cursed to whatever deity that decided to provide water at this time.

Sephiroth looked back to check on Zack and saw that the youth stared straight ahead with a blank expression on his face. The rain didn't even seem to bother him at all. That feeling of dread only intensified. If Sephiroth wasn't worried about Angeal before, he was definitely worried now. Whatever happened, the fallout was likely not something that would be easy to deal with.

Zack seemed even more fragile than when he came knocking on their door that morning. It was strange for Sephiroth to see how close he had become to Angeal in such a short amount of time. He had easily taken up residence in his heart, which for anyone else was a task in of itself.

Zack was special that way. He could make even the most harden veteran silly with love. Though, Sephiroth and Genesis had known Angeal for longer it was just some strange twist of fate that Zack would be the one to put cracks in the wall that Angeal had erected around his heart. It was kind of…sweet.

They continued to walk in a straight line, not veering off the path that Sephiroth had set for them. Sephiroth's mako enhancement's allowed him to see through the darkness and the thick trees. By now, Sephiroth's black boots and Zack's white sneakers had become caked with mud and leaves from the surrounding wildlife. Sephiroth didn't dare look down, knowing he wouldn't be happy with what he found. The squelching mud was enough to tell that it wasn't a pretty sight.

They continued on like that for twenty minutes until Sephiroth spotted a piece of cloth. He stopped, examining it from his range of sight. Unfortunately, from where he stood he couldn't see much of it, except that it was white.

"What's wrong?" Zack asked as he came to halt beside The General. Sephiroth shook his head and motioned for him to stay put. Zack did this for all of ten seconds and walked on after him.

Walking closer, Sephiroth could see that it looked like a shirt. He pulled it from the brush and was shocked to see half of it missing and bloodied.

He hadn't meant for Zack to see it. If he could have he would had hid it. If he was faster he would have shoved Zack away and balled up the shirt and threw it. But he was neither, and Zack saw the discarded piece of clothing.

His eyes went wide and welled with tears. His heart seemed to pound and stop. His lungs wouldn't respond. He took the torn shirt from Sephiroth's hands and turned it until he could see the tag…and it was XL just like he had expected.

Zack was suddenly filled with terror. The tears fell from his eyes, he kept gasping for air, and a scream was petrified in his throat.

Sephiroth shook himself from his shock, slowly walking towards Zack. Grasping his upper arms, he kept him steady as he looked into his bright blue eyes clouded with fear.

"Zack, you listen to me right now; Angeal will be alright. We will find him, and everything's going to be okay. But I can't make this happen alone. I need you to keep calm and work with me, okay?"

Zack nodded weakly. He opened his mouth and gasped air, smelling the clean rain and dead leaves covering the ground. He closed his eyes, gasping for more air until he stopped panicking.

Sephiroth carefully slipped the bloodied t-shirt from Zack's grasp, and watched Zack's face as it became serene again.

_Must have been a meditating technique Angeal taught him_… Sephiroth thought.

When Zack opened his eyes, his face was completely blank again save for the look in his eyes. He already believed that Angeal was lost to them, but Sephiroth happened to think differently. For all they knew, it wasn't even Angeal's shirt.

Zack wiped at his eyes furiously, keeping his mouth in a thin straight line. Sephiroth watched him, unsure if he was going to have another break down.

"Alright now?" Seph asked watching his face. Zack only nodded.

They continued on their way after that, Sephiroth setting the pace for their walking. He had a feeling that Angeal was close by. One of the more unexplainable abilities that Sephiroth harbored was to sense his friends. He couldn't sense everyone, only those he was close to. It, also, happened to extended to those that he was around often.

Like Hojo. He hated the man, but it certainly came in handy for avoiding him.

He heard it before anything else. Sephiroth's sharp hearing allowed him to listen in on most conversations from miles away, and in this case it was a tool that allowed him to find Angeal.

His breathing was labored and it sounded pained. Sephiroth kept his steady pace walking slowly making sure that it was only Angeal ahead and nothing else. At the sound of twigs cracking Sephiroth spun around. He only caught a glimpse of a furry tail disappearing beneath the brush, before Zack walked into him.

"Hey!" Zack exclaimed taking a step back. Sephiroth was going to open his mouth to reply, but was cut off when he saw Zack's face. Zack wasn't a first class SOLDIER, but his connection to Angeal went deeper than even his and Genesis's. Of course, that's what he chose to think. It could've just been that he could finally hear him breathing since they had gotten closer.

Zack ran around Sephiroth, running headlong into the deep brush. "Zack, wait!" Sephiroth shouted, running after him. His heart felt like it was going to burst from his chest from shock. He _really_ hadn't expected Zack to just up and run off like that.

Bursting through the brush on the other side, Sephiroth saw Zack kneeling by Angeal's side tears streaming down his face. Zack crying wasn't what gave him pause…little could give the General of the ShinRa army pause, but seeing one of his only friends torn to shreds and bleeding out on the ground really did give him a reason to pause.

Contrary to popular belief…Sephiroth was far from cold.

Angeal's left arm hung limply by his side, the flesh torn open, tendons and bones poking out. His right side was just as tattered, his ribs jutting out in a gruesome display. Even though Sephiroth was just as shocked and repulsed as Zack, Angeal was still his friend and he was therefore able to analyze. From what he could see, it didn't appear as if Angeal was missing organs, but there was a lot of blood.

"Zack…" Sephiroth tried getting his attention. "…Zack…" He looked up at him with watery blue eyes, a flow of tears streaming down his face.

"Seph…what do I do? What do I do?" Zack replied rocking back and forth. Angeal was breathing, but for how long would he continue to breathe without help was beyond anyone's idea.

There was so much blood…and Angeal was covered in claw marks. Sephiroth had the sinking feeling that whatever did this to him was their target. He looked around at the immediate area, noticing for the first time how much blood there was. There wasn't just blood on Angeal, but blood in the surrounding area, as well.

Sephiroth searched his pockets for his PHS, and pulled it out speed dialing ShinRa.

"I need an extraction unit ASAP. I've a SOLDIER down."

-:-

Zack stared blankly at the wall in front of him. His tear stained face covered in dirt and some of Angeal's blood. He was curled up on a very uncomfortable metal folding chair in the waiting room of the medical wing. No one had changed their clothing since leaving Wutai, so everyone was still in their PJ's.

Loz had come to the waiting room as soon as he heard about what happened. He knew how important Angeal was to Zack, and he knew how he must have been feeling. He expected to find him balling his eyes out, but instead found him staring blankly at nothing. He figured this was more disturbing, since it was so out of character.

Zack seemed lost. Quietly staring, blinking only when his eyes burned for the need. He didn't even seem to register the feeling of Loz's arms around his shoulders. Zack, quite literally, felt dead.

They'd been in the waiting room for hours before Hollander came out to give them an update. It was like everyone magically came to life as Hollander entered. Sephiroth stood along with Genesis, meeting the doctor halfway. Hollander raised his hands to stave off their endless questions of Angeal's well-being.

"He's stable for now. Since his injuries were so sever, he'll be staying in the hospital wing for awhile until I deem it satisfactory that he can leave. However, as it stands…" Hollander trailed off. He sighed rubbing his temple. "I apologize; it's just been a long day."

He hated being the bearer of bad news; especially to people that were like family. Zack glared at his back wanting him to continue.

"Well?" He nearly shouted. Everyone jumped, except Loz and Sephiroth. Sephiroth snapped his head around to stare at Zack shocked at his outburst. Loz continued to rub circles into his back.

Hollander looked uncomfortable, not sure how to continue. He knew the news wouldn't make any of them happy, least of all Zack.

"…Angeal's running a high fever. Probably, due to bacteria getting in his system from being exposed for so long. We're doing all we can for him, but…its dangerous right now so we're working on bringing his temperature down, before we do anything." Hollander finished, glancing at Zack uneasily. He wasn't really a people person, and he was even worse with crying families. He _really_ hoped Zack didn't have an outburst.

Everyone was quite as they processed the new information.

"So…your saying that…Angeal might not-might not—'' Zack voiced, quietly though he was cut off by Sephiroth.

"Angeal will make it."

Zack looked up at Sephiroth, an incredulous look on his face. He didn't say anything else as he leaned back into his seat staring at the wall again.

"I've put his ribs back in place and stitched up all the wounds. His arm's been splint, so there won't be any lasting damage. However, there's still a…whatever did this to him it was strong enough to take down a mako enhanced first class SOLDIER, let alone Angeal." Hollander replied after a tense moment.

Zack bit his lip as he fought back tears. It sounded just as bad as he thought it might. His mind ran away with him as he pictured Angeal lying motionless in the sterile white room covered in bandages. He rubbed his eyes furiously, taking deep breathes to try and calm himself.

"C-can I see him?" Zack asked deferring to Sephiroth. Hollander looked uncomfortable for a moment.

"I-I suppose that's fine." Hollander replied, leading them out of the waiting room. As everyone filed into Angeal's room, Loz was the only one that stayed outside in the hall. Upon entering the room, Sephiroth and Genesis tensed. They hated the sterile white walls, the beeping sounds of machinery, the smell of antiseptic clogging their senses…and it was all made worse by the sight of Angeal unconscious on the bed hooked up to various machines keeping him alive.

Everyone held their breath as Zack shuffled over to Angeal's side. They all expected Zack to burst into tears and start wailing, but it never happened. He just sat quietly at Angeal's side, holding his hand.

"I'll leave you alone." Hollander said exiting.

Genesis sighed, spying a chair in the corner of the room. He flopped down into it, his exhaustion catching up to him. Sephiroth walked across the room on the other side of Angeal's bed and sat down in an empty chair.

Now, it was just a matter of waiting to see what happened.

-:-

Sephiroth opened the door to his apartment, exhaustion showing in the way his shoulders sagged. He'd spent the entire night in the hospital alongside Genesis and Zack. Neither SOLDIER could convince Zack to leave with them, especially after Angeal showed signs of his condition worsening.

Hollander shooed them out into the hall to wait until he got better. Once the cost was clear, they were allowed back into the room. And the waiting game began again.

It was ten in the morning by the time Sephiroth got back. He dropped his keys on the end table by the door and went straight to his room. Stripping quickly, he took a long hot shower. By the time he got out, his PHS was flashing with missed calls.

He debated ignoring the phone for the rest of the day, but then realized it might have been Hollander with an update. Toweling off and dressing in sweats, Sephiroth picked up his phone and cycled through all 19 missed calls.

Calls that had been from Cloud.

'_Uh-oh.'_

He pressed the call button, placing the phone next to his ear as the phone began dialing. It wasn't even 5 seconds that the call connected that Cloud picked up on the other side.

"Hello?" Cloud said sounding decidedly worried.

"What's wrong?" Sephiroth replied.

"Gaia! Are you okay?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'd heard a SOLDIER was badly injured on a mission to Wutai and had to be taken in for emergency medical attention. It's all over the news. I thought it might've been you." Cloud said more calmly.

Sephiroth frowned. "How did that get out so quickly? No one should have known about that." Sephiroth replied rolling until he was lying on his back staring at the ceiling. Cloud was quiet for awhile. When he spoke again his voice broke a little.

"What happened? I was so scared when I heard. The media really played it up; they must have thought the one to get injured was you." Sephiroth sighed, not really wanting to talk too much about it.

"I won't get into it too much, but Angeal was attacked and is in critical condition. I was in the hospital all night with him."

Cloud was quiet. He didn't know if he should be happy it happened to someone else, or disgusted with himself for thinking that way. Sephiroth was safe and that was what mattered to him.

"You want me to keep you company?" Cloud asked, cautiously. Sephiroth thought about it for a moment. Cloud was unlikely to pepper him with questions. It was more than likely that he needed to convince himself that Sephiroth was, indeed, alright.

"I'd like that."

"Then I'll come over. Have you eaten yet?"

Sephiroth chuckled. "No, not yet."

"How's Wutain sound?"

"Sounds good, Cloud."

"Alright. See you in a few."

Sephiroth hung up, tossing the phone down next to him. Throwing his arm over his eyes, he yawned. Cloud would be awhile, so it was okay if he got some shut eye.

-:-

It was a good thing Sephiroth didn't live in the ShinRa building…and that Sephiroth had given him the code for the front gate…and that Sephiroth had given him his key to his apartment. Otherwise, it would have been a bitch to get in.

The guard at the front nodded to Cloud as he passed by the desk, heading towards the elevators. Sephiroth called his place an apartment, but to Cloud and anyone else who wasn't famous and rich knew that the space he occupied was _not_ an apartment. It was in fact, a two-story condo.

Cloud thought it was the nicest thing in the world. Loz, Yazoo, and Kadaj took up the first floor while the second floor was all to Sephiroth. The arrangement worked rather well. There was enough space so that no one ended up getting in each other's space, and everyone was rather mellow.

That is…everyone but Kadaj.

Cloud didn't blame him one bit, though. He was a child and children needed attention. He shuffled into the threshold balancing the food with one hand with the expertise of someone who regularly worked in a bar could.

"Hello?" Cloud called, as he shut the door. He heard the light pitter patter of feet as they came running around the corner. Kadaj skidded to a stop when he spotted Cloud with an armful of food.

"Hi, Cloud!" Kadaj shouted gleefully, as he rushed over to Cloud.

"Hey, there Kiddo. How've you been?"

"Fine."

"How was school?"

"Boring."

Cloud smirked at Kadaj's one word answers. Out of the three wards that Sephiroth took in, Kadaj was most like him. Sephiroth didn't realize it, but anyone could tell by the way they fought with each other.

If Cloud didn't know any better, he'd say that they were brothers. It was more than the strange resemblance they shared. Their attitudes were exactly the same. Maybe Kadaj looked up to Sephiroth more than he would admit.

"Where's Seph?" He asked taking out boxes of food and setting them on the table.

"Upstairs. He was gone all night long even though he got back early. I guess he was tired." Kadaj replied, sitting on one of the barstools surrounding the tiny island. Cloud nodded his head listening.

"Why don't you call your brothers over and you can all eat together." Cloud said picking up the last two boxes. Kadaj nodded, hoping off the stool and running off to find his old brothers.

Cloud turned toward the stairs making sure the last two boxes of food he held in his hand didn't tip over. He pushed the door to the second floor open with his foot and edged inside. Sephiroth never kept the door closed just in case something happened downstairs that needed his attention. However, knowing the solemn circumstances Sephiroth was under, Cloud shut the door gently.

He put the food down on the first table he came to and went in search of his platinum haired lover. Cloud found him laid out on his bed, snoring softly with one arm thrown across his face and the other on the bed. Cloud smiled softly, his eyebrows drawing together.

'_He must have really been tired, if he's snoring.' _Cloud thought.

He quietly made his way across the room, and edged into the bed alongside Sephiroth. It was almost like he knew Cloud was there. He immediately spooned his body around Clouds, snuggling close. His arms finding their place behind his back and his head resting on Clouds chest.

Sephiroth continued to sleep, quickly dragging Cloud under as he snuggled close and stroked his lovers silver hair. He drifted off, sleep creeping up on him with a vengeance.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Ok, first off I'd like to say the reason the title is Devil's Getting Married is because of an oldwives tale explaining natural phenomenon. When it would be raining and the sun still shone people used to say the devil's getting married, or some other variation.

Now, I know it's been a long time. I've had this done for about a week, but couldn't get on the internet to post it, so sorry about that. I think this fic just turned into Cloud/Sephiroth while I wasn't looking…If you don't like that pairing, than two bad.

I think their cute. o

Anyway, R&R, Plz!


	5. Sick and Tired

**Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.5 Sick and Tired**

The next time Sephiroth woke up, he found his arms wound around someone's body and his head tucked underneath their chin. He pulled back slightly to see the individual's face when he sighed in relief to find Cloud wrapped around him.

Cloud's face was merely inches from his own, and he had the overwhelming urge to kiss and caress him. He bumped his nose trying vainly to wake him, but Cloud wouldn't stir. He lightly ran his lips over Cloud's, but still he wouldn't wake. It wasn't until Sephiroth began to press butterfly soft kisses on his cheek and eye lids that Cloud finally cracked an eye open, peering at Sephiroth listlessly. Sephiroth smiled biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

"Now you want to wake up?" Cloud asked, a little sarcastically.

"You wouldn't." Sephiroth replied.

"Hmmm…"

Cloud snuggled closer intending to go back to sleep, but Sephiroth wouldn't allow it. He pulled away from his spot on the bed and stood, leaving the bedroom. He glanced over his shoulder at Cloud who glared at his retreating back. He could smell the stale greasy food in the kitchen and went to take a look at it.

There were two boxes. He lifted the lid on both of them checking what was inside. "Yum…" Sephiroth said sarcastically. He grabbed two plates from a cupboard above the sink and placed them next to each other. Dumping the food on each of the plates, he placed one in the microwave.

Walking away back to his room, he left one of the plates to heat.

Sephiroth walked into his room expecting to see Cloud asleep, but was surprised to find him sitting up in bed staring ahead. He leaned on the door frame watching Cloud as his eyes slipped closed.

"You look tired."

"A little. I was worried." Cloud replied his eyes still closed. Sephiroth frowned at that, remembering what made him worry. He shuffled into the room, sitting at the foot of the bed. Leaning his head on his hand, he stared at a spot on the bed fiddling with the bed sheets.

He wanted to explain, he really did. He had put up a tough front for so long in order to keep his friends strong. Zack needed guidance, and Genesis was emotional by nature. Add in the fact that he and Angeal grew up together and it was very upsetting indeed.

Hell, they were once lovers.

Now, they were family.

Sephiroth let out a shuddering sigh. He wasn't going to cry…at least he hoped not. A heavy weight settled itself in his chest as he took another deep breath and rubbed his eyes. When he pulled his hand away, the full implication of his exhaustion showed itself.

Cloud opened his eyes to look upon Sephiroth.

His eyes were rimmed red with fatigue and unshed tears. His skin was paler than his usual moonlight color. His whole posture screamed with enervation.

At once, Cloud became attentive.

"You don't have to tell me…I'm not forcing you, if you don't want to." Cloud said his eyes slightly wide.

"No, I want to. Holding it in is…bothersome." Sephiroth replied closing his eyes and gathering his thoughts. When he opened them again, he laid down on the bed with Cloud snuggled close to him.

With a few false starts he began explaining everything that happened while running his fingers through Cloud's hair. It calmed him to get the crushing weight of what happened off his chest. For some reason, he felt like what happened was his fault. He knew it was absurd but he couldn't stop thinking that way.

"Sephiroth that's horrible!" Cloud spoke after he had finished his tale.

"Yeah, I know." Sephiroth replied still stroking Cloud's spiky hair.

"Will he make it?"

"Dr. Hollander said it was touch and go."

"You make it sound like he's already dead."

"…"

Cloud sat up pulling away from Sephiroth's stroking hand. He looked him in the eye as if searching for some truth. Sephiroth squirmed under his gaze. Sometimes he thought Cloud should be a Turk.

"You can't think that way…it wasn't your fault. Angeal will make it."

Sephiroth blinked. It was as if Cloud knew what he was thinking snatching the thoughts out of his mind and giving them words.

"Cloud…"

"It wouldn't be the Trinity if something happened to anyone of you."

Sephiroth gave him a weak smile. Whether he voiced it or not, what Cloud said meant a lot to him and gave him hope. Perhaps they wouldn't fall apart after all. Sephiroth laughed.

"I know someone who needs this pep talk."

"Zack?"

"Yeah, he's in love…with Angeal."

"Really?" Cloud asked tilting his head to the side in question.

"Well, yeah. It's kind of obvious to anyone who knows them." Sephiroth replied snidely. Cloud's blue eyes narrowed in mock anger.

He leaned down and kissed him.

Soft lips touched and Sephiroth shivered in excitement. Cloud pulled away a second later, smirking evilly.

"Foods getting cold…" He said moving further away from Sephiroth.

"…And I'm getting hot." He replied quickly licking his lips.

Cloud bit his bottom lip contemplating what he wanted to do to him. Before his imagination could runaway with itself, however, he jumped off the bed and left the room.

Sephiroth groaned. He ignored his instinct to jump Cloud and followed him out of his room toward food.

-:-

They eventually decided on a movie to watch which ended up being a cheesy kung-fu flick as they ate. Piling the plates on top of each other, they cuddled on the couch with a blanket wrapped around their shoulders.

The lights were off and they were feeling pretty good. Despite the circumstances, they still found the energy to somehow fool around.

Sometimes, Sephiroth thought that Cloud knew exactly what he did to him. It seemed like it was so easy. He just turned to putty in his hands.

His arms became much too heavy to use.

His body too weak to move.

His breath labored.

He utterly loathed how useless he'd become…and utterly loved the sensation of being lulled into a needy heap of lust.

Oh, how he wanted more. It was always just a little more with him.

It was much too hot and he wanted their clothes off. Sephiroth gasped as Cloud latched onto his throat. His mind went blank with violent need.

His mind shut off, he was being driven by lust.

He actually forced his hands to move and held onto Cloud's waist, kneading the soft muscles and eventually his plush ass. Cloud gasped, licking Sephiroth's neck and alternating between harsh bites and tender kisses.

And before either one knew what was happening the magic was gone, interrupted by an exceptionally loud throat clearing. Sephiroth opened his eyes to find Veld of the Turks staring at him blankly. Of course, the man would never think of insulting someone in their own house. Especially since he valued his life.

Sephiroth sighed, highly annoyed. "What?" He didn't bother hiding his disdain. "How'd you get in here?"

"Kadaj let me in. I have some questions for you pertaining to the mission in Wutai." Veld replied walking forward. His eyes flicked to Cloud then back to Sephiroth. Sephiroth glared, but Cloud understood the look.

"I'll…go check on Kadaj." Cloud spoke as he left. He didn't look at the Turk once as he made his exit too embarrassed to look the man in the eye. Veld, for his part, didn't say anything.

As soon as they were alone, Veld continued on like nothing had happened.

"Can't this wait?"

"I'm afraid not. We're doing our own investigation of what happened in hopes of stopping this thing."

"How nice of the Turks to finally do their job." Sephiroth said sarcastically. Veld let the comment slide. He didn't know if Sephiroth was pissed off at the circumstances and Angeal being in the hospital or because he almost got laid. At any rate, he kept his mouth shut as he moved on to business.

Veld was a tall man in his 40s. At least six feet and hair graying at his temples he demanded respect when he entered a room. Even Sephiroth was hesitant to push the man very far. He was missing a limb which was barely noticeable with ShinRa's state-of-the-art technology and the materia he used.

Veld was a quiet man.

Very reserved…and old fashioned.

Even though he didn't say anything, Sephiroth knew he was uncomfortable, though he did a remarkable job at hiding it.

"Well…" Sephiroth spoke impatiently.

"Tell me what happened." Veld replied sitting down next to Sephiroth while placing a tape recorder down on the table. Sephiroth sighed, rubbing his temples. He paused the movie, tossing the remote down on the seat next to him.

He really hated repeating himself.

"I woke up when Zack came to my shared room with Genesis. He said Angeal was missing from their room and said it looked like he hadn't been there all night. So, we went looking for him.

We split up to cover more ground. Since Genesis was a first, I sent him alone to look around the town and see if he found Angeal. Zack came with me into the woods to search. About twenty minutes into our walk in the woods, I found a piece of bloody cloth that looked like it belonged to a shirt.

Soon after that, we came to clearing in which we found Angeal Hewley. He was…I determined that he needed immediate medical attention and called for a med-evac." Sephiroth finished staring ahead blankly.

He knew that memory would give him nightmares. It was all he could do to not grind his teeth audibly. He absolutely hated it.

"Fair must be one hell of a SOLDIER to notice a first missing when he was asleep." Veld implied watching Sephiroth for a reaction.

"He just passed his seconds exam." Sephiroth said frowning at the obviousness of his statement. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to get at but they're not fucking."

Veld sat back in his seat and raised an eyebrow. "How would you know?"

"Because they're my friends. After awhile I can kind of tell what's going on."

"Just like they could tell you were dating Cloud Strife for the past two years?" Veld replied his face an impassive mask of indifference.

Sephiroth's green eyes stared at him coldly with a mixture of murderous contempt and alarm. He thought he was being careful, making sure no one knew about his relationship with Cloud…yet it seemed like he forgot all about the Turks.

They were spies. Hell yeah, they knew about his relationship. Sephiroth stood, glaring down at Veld.

"I think it's time you leave."

Veld didn't argue. He picked up the tape recorder pressing the stop button, and dropping it inside his jacket. He got up to leave walking toward the door leading to the second floor, when he stopped himself turning ever so slightly.

"I sincerely hope Angeal pulls through. He's a good man. Also, I thought you'd like to know…Zack hasn't left Angeal's side since you left. Hollander has been trying to get him to eat and sleep, but hasn't had any luck." Veld spoke turning the door knob and leaving.

Sephiroth watched him go, momentarily forgetting about Cloud.

-:-

Zack stared at a spot on Angeal's bed. He never wanted to look up, but occasionally his eyes would wander over to him. He would take one look at Angeal and it was like his whole world came crashing down on him.

His body was covered in a multitude of bandages, covering each inch of marked flesh. He was covered in an assortment of wires and tubes monitoring his condition. A breathing apparatus was attached to his face helping him breathe.

Zack's eyes burned from tears and the need to sleep, but he refused no matter how many times Hollander, Genesis, or Loz pestered him to rest. He wouldn't even eat because he felt it was wrong.

To Zack, it felt wrong for him to be okay if Angeal wasn't. He knew it was stupid to think something like that, but he couldn't help it. He could just imagine what Angeal would say if he were awake to witness it.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Zack's head snapped up. He stared at Angeal's face hoping that he woke up even if it was just to scold him.

"Zack!" He turned his head to the voice and instead saw an angry Sephiroth glaring down at him from the doorway. His hopeful expression evaporated turning into an empty look of annoyance. He turned his head away and ignored him.

Sephiroth sighed, his patience waning quickly.

"Zack, what are you doing? You haven't even showered yet? You need to eat something and get rest, Zack!"

He continued to ignore him opting instead to watch one of the machines persist in repeated beeps and blinks. This only served to piss Sephiroth off.

"That's it, damnit!"

Sephiroth lunged forward and dragged Zack out his chair and over to the door. Zack struggled, but no matter how hard he twisted he was exhausted and only a second class, where as Sephiroth was refreshed and the General of the ShinRa army.

He hauled Zack out the door, lifting him over his shoulders and walking through the hallways with him. Zack kicked as hard as he could and screamed at the top of his lungs, but wasn't able to do anything but draw attention to himself and disturb the other patients.

Zack clawed at Sephiroth's back, pulled his hair and did everything he could to make him drop him, but to no avail. Sephiroth was stronger and wasn't even tired.

When they reached the elevator, Sephiroth dropped him unceremoniously in the middle of the carriage. He pressed a couple of buttons, waited until the car started moving, than dropped down on top of Zack to keep him still. When the carriage stopped, they were on the ground floor.

Sephiroth dragged Zack over to the front of the building, still screaming curses at him, and pulled beyond the threshold towards a waiting car. Genesis waited outside, opening the door while Sephiroth pushed him in. Despite all the rough handling, Sephiroth made sure never to hurt him.

Once, Zack was in Sephiroth climbed in afterwards with Genesis shutting the door and getting in the driver's seat. Sephiroth had to hold Zack down the entire ride. He cursed him, screamed at him, sobbed, and begged him to take him back.

Zack just had to go back. He couldn't leave him there all alone. What if he woke up? He'd have no one there with him!

-:-

"Please! Please! Let me go!" Zack screamed tears streaming down his face. His throat was raw from an hour of screaming. His vision blurred from all the crying. Sephiroth wouldn't hear any of it though. He wouldn't allow Zack to make himself sick while Angeal was unconscious.

He dragged him through the halls of Angeal's home to the bathroom and pushed him into the tub. Reaching over, he turned the knob for water and the icy liquid poured out drenching Zack and Sephiroth's upper body.

He hissed in annoyance, trying to hold Zack still while he adjusted the temperature. He continued to fight however, draining his energy all the more quickly.

By the time Sephiroth was able to get the temperature of the water to a more comfortable degree Zack had worn himself out. He sobbed uncontrollably, fat watery tears streaming down his face. His back shook with the force of his cries and Sephiroth finally took pity on him.

"Zack…Zack look at me." Sephiroth said softly. He sat on the edge of the tub turning Zack so he faced him. He placed his hand on the left side of his cheek turning his face towards him. "Look at me, Zack. Listen to me."

He reluctantly did as he was told as he had no other option but to do so. His eyes were puffy and rimmed red, and his lip quivered as he tried to force back his sobs. He rubbed his eyes furiously trying to stop his crying. If only Angeal could see him now…

"Zack, Angeal's going to get better. Hollander will see to that. He's home now…so stop worrying."

Zack's eyes overflowed again. He just couldn't keep it in. Hollander even said it was a 50/50 chance he might not even survive. There was so much blood…how could he be okay after this? Even if he did make it through, he wouldn't be the same. Sephiroth shook Zack violently.

"Angeal is going to be okay! And when he wakes up, how do you think he's going to feel if you make yourself sick, or worse? I won't let you do this to yourself! Snap out of it, Zack!" Sephiroth shouted. He looked Zack in the eyes once and instantly regretted it.

"You don't understand! You never understand, no one does!"

"What don't I understand?"

"I-I-I…I love him." Zack admitted. His face crumbled and he began weeping again. Sephiroth blinked and his face lost its annoyed edge.

He knew it.

"I know…I know Zack…but you can't keep doing this to yourself. I won't let you." Sephiroth replied, standing up. He left the bathroom, leaving Zack alone with the shower still going.

-:-

Two days had passed since Sephiroth dragged Zack from Angeal's side. He stayed with him the entire time not once leaving him alone, but to shower and use the bathroom. True to his military attitude and nature, Sephiroth only gave him seven minutes tops for both each day he was with him.

He wasn't going to risk him harming himself while he was alone for the few minutes a day that he allowed him privacy.

During the two days that Sephiroth stuck around, he'd made arrangements for Zack to go on a paid vacation. Not to any fancy resort like Costa del Sol. He knew that would have only made him stir crazy.

So, instead he got the company to allow him to go back home.

"Are you sure you have everything you need?" Sephiroth asked standing by the door.

"…" Zack didn't reply, too angry at his predicament. Since it was a paid vacation and he was going back home to Gongaga, there would be no training. And no training meant he wasn't allowed to take his sword.

"It won't be that bad. Besides, I'm sure your parent's miss you." Sephiroth said trying to cheer him up. It didn't work even a little bit. Sephiroth sighed, motioning for Zack to follow him.

They went up to the helipad on the roof of the ShinRa building, the perpetual night almost camouflaging the sleek machine. Sephiroth walked him out, stopping by the door. Genesis was already there, smiling down at him with warm eyes.

"Hey there, pup. Excited to finally see your parents?" Genesis spoke, coming closer.

"No." Zack replied instantly. Genesis didn't lose his smile however.

"Is that so?" Zack gave him an annoyed look. "Because I figured you must miss her, huh? It's been six years since you've last seen your parents, right? "

"Did the Turks tell you that?" Genesis only smiled coyly. "Are you trying to subtly tell me that I'm going to be watched?" Zack said his anger rising. His brow furrowed in rage and he took a step towards Genesis…and tripped.

"Oh, you must've tripped because I know you weren't going to do anything." Zack looked up to see Sephiroth staring down at him coldly. He glared some more before looking away and standing up.

"Zack, this is for your own good. We wouldn't do this to you if we didn't care." Genesis replied, his expression softening. It only served to piss him off more.

"Enough! You think I'm stupid? I know you don't care about me! You're only doing this _because_ of Angeal!" Zack shouted angrily grabbing his bag off the floor.

Both Genesis and Sephiroth were caught off guard by his outburst. Genesis, for once, recovered more quickly. His eyes hardened and he gave him a nasty smile.

"Genesis…" Sephiroth warned but it was too late.

"You know what? You're right. I'm sick of pretending. You act like you're the only one hurt. You act like you're the only one that loves him. Well puppy…you're not. Everyone seems to keep forgetting that I'm Angeal's best friend. I grew up with him, I went to the same school as him, and I joined SOLDIER at exactly the same time as he did.

I love Angeal just as much as Sephiroth and you do. So, don't you dare pretend you're the only one that's hurting. Don't you dare act like it's all about you, you selfish little brat. Angeal means more to me than you could ever understand, and _this_ is why I'm putting up with your bullshit now, and why I'm trying to make you feel better _because_ Angeal would want me to!" Genesis replied. He became upset easily with tears welling in his eyes, but the stony expression on his face wouldn't allow for tears to fall.

He visibly shook with suppressed anger.

The look on Sephiroth's face was pitiful.

Zack looked shocked and about ready to cry. He hadn't realized he was being so selfish. He'd been so blinded by his own pain that he didn't see others.

And true to what Genesis just said…he'd forgotten that he was also an important person in Angeal's life. He hadn't even considered how Sephiroth felt. He was always the one to pester the man to tell him what he was thinking or how he felt…and here he was, practically telling him with big flashing signs…and he was completely ignoring him.

"…I…"

"I'm done." Genesis said and swiped at his eyes before turning to leave.

Zack hung his head in shame. He felt his eyes burn, but rubbed at them to stop the inevitable flow of tears. He didn't feel it was right or fair of him to cry when there were those that were obviously hurting just as much as he was.

Sephiroth tried to comfort him by placing a hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away. "No…I…"

"It's fine."

"No, it's not!"

"Zack…its fine."

He looked up at Sephiroth blankly staring at him. A small smile crossed his face as he watched Zack rub his eyes.

"It's fine. When you get back, everything will be okay."

Zack numbly nodded, trying not to cry again. He walked over to the helicopter lying in wait and climbed on board. It immediately started up and in a few minutes lifted off into the night sky.

-:-

Zack looked out the window as the helicopter began touching down. He couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. He hadn't seen either of his parents' since he left to join SOLDIER. He had no idea how they were going to react.

Sephiroth had mentioned that he called them to let them know that he was coming. He kept telling him how excited they were that he was coming back. He couldn't imagine why considering that he caused them so much grief.

He felt nervous at any rate.

Gongaga was a small village. Flying over it had been like looking down on ants. The ground was dotted with houses surrounded by trees and foliage with the Mako reactor the only thing sticking out. As they got closer, Zack could clearly see people gathering by the entrance waiting to greet him. _Mom must've told everyone I was coming,_ Zack thought.

He felt slightly annoyed, his nervousness all but gone. He didn't want to be bothered, but it looked like that wasn't his choice.

No one came closer as the helicopter sat down, and Zack stepped out. He took a deep breath, before trudging on. People started to become familiar the closer he got, and he could clearly tell who some of them were by their beaming faces. Loud murmurs broke out among the crowd, many asking questions or just wanting to know how he'd been for the past six years.

Whether it was by fate or luck, Zack was saved from ever having to even speak to any of the gathered town's people. Pushing through the crowd while giving people disdainful looks, Lewis Fair glared at all the beaming faces.

"That's enough, now! I'm not gonna let the lot of you bombard him with questions. He just got back and I'm sure it was a long trip. Now go home!" He practically shooed all the townspeople away from the front gates.

Zack gave a tiny smile. His Dad was never subtle when he wanted someone to do something.

Lewis Fair was middle age with a head of black hair graying at the temples. He wore a white buttoned up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and grey slacks. Zack stiffened slightly when he turned around to look at him.

His Dad looked him over with a critical eye. "You've grown since I've last saw you." Was all he said.

Zack kept his mouth shut.

"And you still haven't gotten a haircut."

He smiled, remembering how his father used to hound him to cut his hair. Lewis mirrored that smile, closing the distance between them and throwing an arm around Zack's shoulders.

"It's been a long time."

"…yeah."

-:-

It had been six years since Zack left his home in Gongaga to join SOLDIER. His parents were against it, but his father most of all. So, when Zack first laid eyes on his old man he expected cold indifference or at least something akin to anger. When neither one came, he began to question if he was really home or if he was dreaming.

He kept waiting for the outburst, the demands and the anger. Instead he got warm hugs, smiles and kisses.

His family, all his old friends came by to visit.

For a moment the world seemed to close in on itself, and all that mattered was this place that made him feel safe and sound. He could even temporarily forget about Angeal.

But only for a little while.

Dinner was over and everyone had gone to their respective homes. Jenna, Zack's mother, cleared the table with a smile calling for him to help her in the kitchen.

"How are you Zack, really?" She asked handing him a clean dish for him to dry.

"I'm fine, mom." Zack replied.

She gave him a sidelong glance, knowing that he wasn't telling the truth. He might have disappeared for six long years, but she still knew her boy.

"I know everything's not as it seems. Why else would you come back to this backwater town before reaching first class? You can talk to me, you known. I won't judge you, Zack." She said softly.

She handed Zack another plate to dry, but he never took it. Turning her head to look at him, she could tell something was amiss. She knew a little of what had happened. Sephiroth was obliged to tell them something.

They were overjoyed to have him back, but also a little sad at the circumstances.

Jenna put the plate down and dried her hands on a stray towel. Turning to completely regard Zack, it was impossible not to notice the pain in his eyes

"Whatever happened to make you come back here, I'm sure it will all work out."

"You can't know that!"

"Zack these things work themselves out. Besides, I can always tell when you're overreacting."

He gave her a sidelong look as she handed him the cleaned plate again. Zack took it, dried it, and placed it in the cupboard in front of him.

* * *

Author's Note:

Dear God, this one took forever to crank out! I finally said 'Screw it' and decided to publish what I had. This chapter was intended to be longer, but too many things happened at once and as such its actually shorter then the other chapters.

I apologize for that.

The next chapter will be about Zack...mostly.

Anyway, R&R, Plz!


	6. Lack and Luster

**Warning: Lemon. Not to serious, but for those who find it icky.**

**

* * *

Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.6 Lack and Luster**

Days continued to pass, moving more quickly when Zack was occupied with something. Between all the chores and physical activity that he pushed himself through, the days blurred until he no longer could tell how long he'd been in his hometown.

The village was relatively small, and the mako reactor hadn't been completed yet, so the town had to settle for old fuel resources. It was still summer, quickly turning into fall and Zack used this excuse to go outside and hack up poor, defenseless pieces of firewood. His shirt was off, thrown down haphazardly on the ground. A light sheen of sweat coated his upper body as a small mountain of wood accumulated next to him.

He stopped to wipe sweat from his brow and reached down into his pocket for his mp3 to switch songs. For the last hour and a half, he'd been outside venting his anger. Even his father was hesitant to come and ask what was wrong.

Everyone could sense that he didn't want to be here, so they gave him his space and left him alone. Well…mostly everyone. It was still a small town with lots of gossip and bigoted people.

Zack was in the middle of switching songs when boisterous laughter made it to his ears. He looked up to see three men walking towards him. He looked around to see the road next to his house, so he assumed that's where they were headed.

He turned his attention back to his mp3 only to have it snatched from his hands. Zack's head whipped up to see the three men standing before him with sneers on their faces. Zack sighed as the middle one-the leader he presumed-rolled up his ear buds around the device.

_At least he's not smashing it under his foot,_ thought Zack.

He didn't recognize any of the men, but he could tell from there burly physic that they must be in construction. _Probably some of the workers from the reactor._

The middle one rubbed his chin staring at Zack, keeping a good grip on his mp3. Zack gave him a look filled with malice.

"What's a matter, boy? You don't remember us?"

"No, I can't say that I do."

"Aw, come on! We used to work alongside your momma down in Vinnie's bar. Of course, you were a little thing. I can understand if you don't remember."

"He must not remember a lot of things, John?" The one off to the right said a gleam in his eye.

"Yeah, I guess he must not."

"Is there a point to this? If not I'd like my mp3 back."

"Hold on now, I'm getting to it." The middle one, John replied. He rolled his shoulders, rubbing his neck, making sure he didn't have any more kinks in his upper body before he continued on. "How's your parents doing, boy?"

"They're fine." Zack replied.

"Oh, really? Well, that's good. I guess they can put their problems on hold now that you're back. They really must miss you." John said. He tried to sound like a sincere friend, but his words came out sarcastic with a funny lit.

Zack's jaw twitched. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh, its okay if you don't, I mean your parent's would've tried to hide it from you. After all, you are their baby boy."

Zack stayed silent for several long minutes. He knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to rile him up. Trying to get him angry so he'd strike out and punch him. Get him into a fight. The only problem was that it was working.

"They've had an off and on relationship since before you were born. I'm surprised you don't remember me? You're daddy would go off sometimes, doing something or other and it'd make your momma mad sometimes. Sometimes, they'd get into a fight and wouldn't speak for days.

I remember this one time when they got into a fight and it lasted weeks. Well, your daddy wasn't very accommodating and your momma needed comfort and, well…I was there." The two men behind John laughed heartily as John himself gave Zack an obnoxious smirk.

What the three men failed to realize was that Zack still had an ax in his hand.

Zack gave the men his biggest, brightest smile as he flipped the ax in his hand gaining their attention with the ease he flipped it with.

"Do you know what you've just done?"

He was met with silence as they all stared at the ax then at him.

"You've just pissed me off."

Zack didn't give them a chance as he punched John in the throat, his eyes bulging wide. He hit him with the flat side of the ax, blood flying as the ax opened a gash on the side of his head. John's body crumpled to the ground in mere seconds. His mates stared in shock at his motionless body.

Zack dropped the ax, cracking his knuckles. His blue eyes lit up with mako as he advanced on the other two.

Maybe they didn't think he would fight back, or perhaps they just forgot about the enhancements. Zack thought about this and came to the conclusion that he didn't care. This was the best chance at release therapy he was ever going to get.

-:-

It was safe to say that Jenna was worried about Zack. Since, he came back he was withdrawn, preferring to listen than to speak. He wasn't as hyperactive as he once was. All the joy he once brought into a room was now nowhere to be seen.

Everyone, even Lewis, seemed to think that Zack had just finally matured. He grew up out of the childish boy he used to be and was now a young adult.

She wanted to agree, but couldn't shake the sick feeling that something was wrong with her baby. Trying to cope with the sensation she looked out the window, while drying her hands on a damp dish towel and let out an oath.

Dropping the towel, she ran out the door yelling at Zack to stop.

-:-

Zack was straddling one of the men. One hand curled around his shirt, the other balled into a fist ready to fly back and dish out more damage. He dimly heard the voice of his mother telling him to stop, that he was killing him.

He knew he should stop, that he probably was going to kill this man if he didn't, yet…he couldn't find the will. His rage had been seething for a while now, coiling in his belly like a snake ready to spring on its target.

His vision had become tunneled so all he saw was this offending man that dared insult his mother. His hearing became a dull roar blocking out all sounds around him except the smacking of flesh on flesh contact.

Someone grabbed his shoulder and tried to pull him off, but all they did was make him stumble back. He looked up at the invading person and pulled up short of smacking them in the face with his bloodied fist.

His mother stood before him, shock and horror written all over her. She was pale as moonlight, all color drained from her face. Her eyes wide and round, fear in them. She'd never seen Zack so enraged. Never seen him almost beat a man to death. What had happened to her little boy?

Zack stood there panting. His hands were covered in blood and his chest and jeans were flecked with it. He blinked a couple times, some of the rage dissipating. He saw his mother…and the fear in her eyes. He looked around at the carnage surrounding him, the three bodies badly beaten, the blood splatter on the ground…he felt sick. He looked at his mother again, the look turned to confusion tears threatening to spill over.

"Your eyes…what happened to your eyes?" Was all she could ask.

Zack knew. The massive amounts of mako in his blood showed in his eyes. They already glowed on their own, but would shine even brighter when in a fight. It was the distinguishing mark of SOLDIER.

His mother obviously didn't understand that and it freaked her out.

Zack understood.

He walked over to his discarded shirt, picked it up and started walking down the road next to his house that led out of town. He knew a place he could be alone and not be bothered with for awhile…at least until things cooled down. He was pretty sure his mother didn't want him staying with her anymore though.

Again, it was understandable.

-:-

He was outside the village. An outcropping about a mile towards the south east looked out over the ocean. The wind carried with it the smell of seawater and fresh air, blowing Zack's bangs out his face. He sat at the edge of the cliff watching the waves churn against the rocky face.

He should have been in turmoil. His mother saw him nearly beat a man to death, saw the inhumane glow in his eyes, and he didn't even say anything to change her mind. He didn't even try to explain what had happened, didn't try to dissuade her that he wasn't normally like that.

He just didn't even try.

"If only Angeal could see you, now."

Zack spun around at the sudden sound of someone's voice. His gut took a dive off the cliff he was sitting at as he spied Genesis. The brunette dressed in civilian clothes gave him a warm smile as he stopped in front of him.

"That's what you're thinking, isn't it? If only Angeal could see the insubordinate little child you've become. See how misbehaved his puppy really is without him around?" Genesis said, smiling down at Zack.

Zack did nothing. The pursing of his lips the only telltale sign of his anger.

"That's it? Not even going to hit me?" Genesis goaded.

Zack ignored him turning back to the ocean. Genesis gave a short laugh, stepping closer. The sound of a sword clattering to the ground next to him startled Zack out of his thoughts as he jumped up staring at Genesis.

"What are you doing?" He asked staring down at the sword. He realized it was his and picked it up.

"Hmm. Oh, we're going to spar." Genesis said, warming up.

Zack stared at him as if he were insane. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Just what I said. You haven't gotten the aggression from earlier out of your system. I doubt you will without a good fight to wear you down. So, we are sparing."

Zack still didn't budge from his spot. His feet were rooted to the ground. He didn't know what he felt. Exhilaration, anticipation, fear, anger, joy…he doubted he would even be able to stand up to Genesis. He was a first class and the oldest of the trinity. He could barely still hold his own against Angeal and Sephiroth always held back. He hadn't yet had the pleasure to spar against Genesis but he was pretty sure that it wouldn't even be a match.

Zack was going to lose…

…and it was going to hurt.

"Are you ready?" Genesis asked leisurely, a smile gracing perfect features.

Zack didn't think, he just acted. He launched his body forward towards Genesis, his sword pointed at his throat. Genesis was taken momentarily off guard but reacted to his strike, quickly deflecting Zack's sword with his own.

Zack was thrown off balance but quickly righted as he threw himself at Genesis, again. The same thing happened over and over. It was as if Zack was trying to mindlessly lose himself in the fight so he wouldn't have to explain himself to anyone. He was trying to…lose.

He put everything he had into his sword strikes, forgetting about precision and finesse solely relying on strength. It was child's play to Genesis as he deftly blocked or dodged attacks.

He was starting to become annoyed.

He had heard such praise from both Angeal and Sephiroth. How he was such a prodigy. How he would make it to first class in no time.

_Now look at him. Throwing away everything Angeal taught him,_ Genesis thought.

He ended the fight with a well placed sword swing to Zack's upper left shoulder. Zack blocked it, but just barely. He staggered back and off balance, panting heavily. Genesis swung his sword again, this time disarming him and sending him skidding across the ground. Zack lay there, gasping unable to move. As he looked up, he was at the sword point and mercy of Genesis.

Genesis gave him an unreadable look. "Is that it?"

Zack said nothing. He just lay there on his back ready to accept whatever punishment Genesis decided to give him.

"That was…disgusting. I can't believe they would even promote you to second class. You completely threw away everything Angeal taught you! And for what? Because he's lying on a hospital bed waiting to die?" Genesis shouted. "Angeal is a soldier! Soldier's die! You either learn that fact quickly or join them in the dust!"

Zack felt his chest tighten. He felt anger as well as great grief. Why would he say that? He was his friend. His best friend! With his unstable emotions came a surge of energy. Zack got to his feet and charged Genesis. His fists swung wildly and caught nothing, but air. Genesis side stepped him and grabbed him from behind throwing him to the ground. He dropped down next to him, pinning his arms and legs, preventing Zack from swinging anymore.

"How could you? How could you? He's your best friend! You grew up together! He loves you! How could you?" Zack cried, thrashing against Genesis.

Genesis closed his eyes and sighed. "Because Zack…this is the reality that everyone in SOLDIER must bear with. Fighting, going on missions…there is a chance that anyone of us might die."

"Not you! Not any of you! Not Angeal!" Zack shouted back.

"Yes, even we…even Angeal. For all our enhancements we are still human. We bleed, we cry, we will eventually die." Genesis replied.

Zack sobbed against the ground. He let himself feel what he'd been denying himself for days. All the pain he pushed back, he never let himself even think about Angeal. He tried his damndest to forget for the past few days but it all seemed in vain.

All the emotions came crashing down on Zack's shoulders. Sadness, anger, pain but most of all shame. He let Angeal down. He threw away everything he taught him because some foolish idiot decided to taunt him.

He deserved anything and everything that was coming his way. If Genesis decided to dish out his punishment then and there he would accept it.

Nothing came however.

He felt Genesis running his fingers through his tousled hair, letting him cry. Somehow he shifted so he was half lying on Genesis' lap. They stayed like that for awhile.

"Do you hate me?" Zack asked suddenly.

Genesis sighed. "There is no hate, only joy. For you are beloved by the Goddess. Hero of the dawn, Healer of worlds." Zack looked up at him dubiously. Genesis smiled. "I don't hate you, Zack. I never have. I think you're being childish."

Zack shook his head. "How? I don't want to lose Angeal."

"No one does. But unfortunately for us, there's nothing that we can do. Angeal's life is in the hands of the Goddess."

After Zack and Genesis' talk, they walked back into town. By that time it was almost dark. The sun was setting, saying its final goodbyes for the night turning the sky an orange color. The sunset was beautiful, but also sad. Zack sighed in frustration and looked away towards the road ahead.

People stared at him, but didn't dare say a thing. Some people believed that what happened to John and his friends was well deserved. Others thought that Zack was a violent hooligan but didn't dare open their mouths.

As Zack drew closer to his home he became apprehensive. He hadn't forgotten his mother's reaction when she saw him. All he wanted was to leave and not have to face her. Her horror stricken face stuck in his mind and his stomach flipped as his house came into view. He began dragging his feet and Genesis noticed.

"What's the matter?"

Zack stayed quite his brow furrowing as he stopped in front of his house. Genesis opened his mouth to say something else, but the door banged opened before he could say anything.

"Oh, thank God! You're alright!" Jenna said rushing out to hug Zack. She had tears in her eyes and relief on her face. Zack was so stunned, he was rendered speechless. "Don't you ever run off like that again! I was so worried!"

Genesis looked between Zack and mother figuring out what had him worried.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up." Jenna said, referring to the blood on Zack. "You come too, Mr. Rhapsodos."

"Please, just call me Genesis."

-:-

"I'll admit…I freaked out a bit. My reaction wasn't the most ideal one, but then you can hardly expect me to be okay with my son almost beating a man to death." Jenna said, as she scrubbed the blood off Zack's hands.

He insisted that he could do that himself, but she wouldn't listen to him. At her words, Zack shyly looked up at her through his bangs.

"Oh, its fine. I can't exactly condone that sort of thing, but then John had it coming for years. That man never knows when to keep his mouth shut." Jenna said, sniffing.

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"Have you and Dad…have you been having…problems?"

At Zack's question she stopped scrubbing. She sighed and put the sponge down, sitting down. "How much do you remember of when you were little?"

"I don't know. Dad wasn't always home. I always assumed he was working." Zack replied. His mother stared ahead for a few moments before continuing.

"It wasn't because he was always working. We'd get into these really big fights sometimes. We were always doing stuff that would piss each other off. I'd drink sometimes, your father ran off sometimes." Jenna sighed, rubbing her temple. "We were young, Zack. We made stupid, childish mistakes. We were young…and we were in love. Heh, we ran off to Midgar when we were nineteen. The glitz and the glam of the city called to us. But it wasn't as easy as we thought. Within months we were broke…and I was pregnant. Your father couldn't find a job that made enough money in the slums to support a family, so we moved back home to Gongaga. I got a job working in Vincent's bar, and your father went back to school. The rest is history."

Zack stayed silent for a few minutes. "Was I…was I a…burden?"

"No." His mother answered immediately. "It was our fault. We were the stupid ones. We rushed. Your father and I love you. Zack, if it weren't for you…we wouldn't even be a family. If I hadn't gotten pregnant with you when I did, your father and I would have broken our relationship off. It's because of you that we were able to try so hard. You saved us. Don't you ever forget that."

"Thanks mom."

"No need to thank to me. You're my little hyperactive hero."

-:-

After Zack had washed up and put on fresh clean clothes, he could smell dinner being prepared and his stomach complained, reminding him that he hadn't eaten in awhile. He headed towards the kitchen intending to get a snack, when he heard his father's voice coming from his office. The door was cracked open, but it was all he needed to hear his father's side of the conversation.

"You can't do that!"

Pause.

"He was being antagonized. It was three against one."

Pause.

"Yes, I know but—"

Pause.

"I will represent him. He doesn't need—"

A longer pause.

"I don't care if John says he was pumped full of steroids, he had no business even coming near my house!"

Pause. Lewis stared ahead with a look of pure resentment on his face. He slammed the phone down, cutting off the conversation.

Zack heard enough to know what was going on. John and his buddies were pressing charges against him. He turned to leave when the door to the office swung open. Zack stopped in his tracks, but didn't turn around.

"You heard that?" His father asked.

Zack didn't answer his silence speaking for him.

"John deserved it. I won't let anything happen to you."

Zack turned slightly to give him a rueful smile. "It's alright Dad. It was my fault, I'll accept my punishment."

Lewis opened his mouth to argue but Genesis beat him to it. "I don't think so."

"What do you mean?" Zack asked.

"I mean that you're our little puppy. You have friends in high places, Zack. No local police will touch you, considering that this place is in ShinRa jurisdiction. That doesn't mean you won't be disciplined though."

Lewis and Zack were quite for awhile as they contemplated that.

"I don't like how ShinRa does things. I never have, however…this time alone…I'll allow it." Lewis replied glaring at nothing in particular.

Genesis laughed at that. "Oh, that's right! I completely forgot. You work for an opposing company, don't you? It must suck knowing that your son works for the enemy."

Zack tensed at that. He never really was on good terms with his father and add to the fact that he ran away to join them…he was surprised that his father didn't tear him a new one.

"Someone's here to see you, Zack." Genesis said, stepping around him. He temporally forgot about his issues with his father that he had yet to work out as he retreated to the safety of the kitchen.

-:-

"Loz!" Zack shouted as he pounced on his friend. The look on his face was one of pure relief. Finally, Zack had someone to talk to that wouldn't think he was being childish and would just listen. He was eternally grateful to whoever decided to let Loz visit him.

"Hey, are you alright?" Loz asked wiping tears from Zack's cheeks.

Zack nodded. "Yeah, I'm just happy to see you. Sorry, if I'm acting like a baby."

"Don't worry about it. Come on, let's catch up. I haven't seen you in weeks!"

Zack nodded only too happy to notice the looks his parents were giving him.

-:-

"Did Sephiroth let you visit?" Zack asked, shutting the door to his room.

The interior was spacious enough for two people, with dark blue walls and wood paneling floors. Loz sat on Zack's bed with his back pressed against the wall with the only window in the room.

Bookshelves with various assortments of items lined the shortest wall next to his door, while a desk and a chair complete with an old fashioned computer sat against another wall next to his bed.

"Kind of…I had to beg him. It was kind of annoying since he's only 4 years older than me." Loz replied.

Zack frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Hey…none of that now. I know this situation's been really hard on you. We didn't really get a chance to talk when you got back from Wutai, but I'm here now. So there's no need to hold back." Loz responded holding out his arms for Zack.

Zack gave him a weak smile that couldn't even reach his eyes and hugged him. Tears threatened to fall, but Zack did his best to push them back. In the end…they fell anyways. Loz let him cry on his shoulder, running his fingers through his spiky black hair. When he was finally able to calm down enough to speak clearly Zack spoke.

"Genesis…Genesis said…I know soldiers die! But Angeal's one of the trinity! How could this have happened? Without anyone noticing! It's not fair!" Zack shouted. He looked up at Loz searching for answers, but came up with nothing.

"Zack…about Angeal…" Loz began. Zack's face seemed to crumple at just hearing those words. "Don't get the wrong idea! Sheesh! He woke up yesterday. I wanted to tell you over the phone, but then I thought it'd be better if I told you in person."

Zack couldn't believe what he was hearing. Angeal woke up. Angeal was alive! This time when he did smile it reached his eyes and fresh tears spilled out.

Loz sighed. "Crying again? I thought you'd be happy at the news." Zack mumbled something against Loz's shirt hugging him tightly. "What was that?"

Lifting his head from his shirt Zack said, "You have no idea how happy I am." Loz smiled despite himself. He cared about Zack. He truly did. He hated to see him so miserable. "When can I see him?"

"Not yet, which is why it's a good thing Genesis and I are here."

Zack scowled. "You're here to stop me from going?"

"Angeal still needs his rest, Zack. He woke up, but he won't be up and about for at least a few days more. I know you want to be by his side, if this situation was switched and it was you in that hospital bed, Angeal would want to be by your side, too." Loz said hugging Zack.

Zack was silent, letting himself be held by Loz. He had so many questions that he wanted answers to, but he didn't know which one to ask. He wanted to know how Angeal was doing. He wanted to know how he felt, if there would be any lasting damage, if he was going to be back to his normal self. He looked up at Loz with pain in his eyes. Knowing that Angeal woke up wasn't enough. He had no idea how he was going to get through the rest of this vacation without going crazy thinking about him.

Loz was stroking Zack's back as he ran his fingers through his hair. Zack snuggled closer guessing what he wanted by the growing bulge in his pants. Despite the situation they were in, it didn't stop their raging hormones.

Zack laughed at Loz's expanse.

"Heh, sorry. I can't help myself. I haven't been with anyone in awhile." Loz admitted smiling.

Zack looked up sharply. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said."

"But…not since we last?" Loz nodded. "Loz…"

"Hey, don't get me wrong! I totally would have…but it just didn't seem right. Not this way. I feel like I shouldn't be having fun when you're miserable. Now, I know you wanna kick my ass for even saying it but that's just how I feel. You're like my other half…it's no fun when you're sad."

"Loz, this isn't fair!"

"Nothing's changed. I…I still love her, and I wouldn't dare do that to you. I just want to help you through it. I know she would, too." Loz replied a happy little smile on his face. Zack smiled back, happy knowing that nothing had changed. Not yet at least.

"How's your flower girl?"

"She's good. Although, I wonder if she's ever going to notice."

"Maybe she won't because you won't ask her?"

"Look who's talking!"

"You know my situation's different."

"Yeah, yeah it is."

They sat like that for awhile holding each other staring at the wall in front of them. The warmth from Loz's body seemed to calm Zack. His ear was pressed to his chest listening to his strong heartbeat. Zack shifted a little to find a better spot, when he brushed against Loz. The bulge in his pants hadn't lessened at all.

"You want me to take care of that?" Zack asked slyly running his hands over the front of his pants. Loz groaned rolling his hips forward at the action.

"If you…want to then…sure." Loz panted. His eyes were closed in rapture as he undulated against Zack's palm.

Zack roughly griped him through his pants, lowering his mouth to Loz's neck. He harshly sucked and bit his neck, licking the abused flesh. Loz moaned his mouth falling open in pleasure as he arched against Zack's palm.

"Feels good," Loz moaned rocking against him, his fist bunching the sheets. Zack dragged his lips down his neck to the hemline of his shirt, licking a fiery trail down to his collarbone. Loz panted a groan caught in his throat as he arched his neck backward to allow Zack all the access he needed. He moaned loud and long, when Zack finally slipped his hand into the waistband of his pants gently gripping him.

He had a firm grasp on his shaft gently pumping provoking gasps of pleasure and too loud moans. If Zack still cared about modesty he'd have told Loz to be quieter. As it was, the sounds Loz made began to slowly drive him insane.

Zack urged Loz to lift his hips with one hand as he pulled his jeans further down with the other. He sat between Loz's spread legs, pressing soft kisses along the length of his cock. Loz bit his lip, trying to stifle the gasp that escaped his mouth. He took the head into his mouth, gently tonguing the slit. Loz shudder feeling as if his blood had been set on fire. Zack took more of him into his mouth working his jaw as he relaxed his throat taking as much as possible until his lips hit the base around his cock.

Loz was panting now, his breathing little more than huffs. His skin was shiny with sweat his shirt sticking to his upper body. Loz groaned urging Zack to go faster with his hands.

Zack's head bobbed up and down, taking him as far as possible with the new increased pace. His hips jerked rocking faster. Zack egged him on further sucking harshly until Loz gave a startled shout coming down his throat. Zack licked all the remains of his pleasure from his lips looking up at Loz with dazed blue eyes.

Loz looked back unseeing as he regained his breath.

"Wonderful." He stated closing his eyes. Zack gave him a smug smile before crawling up his body to plant kisses all over his face. They were interrupted from their afterglow as a knock came at the door.

"If you two are quite finished, dinner is ready." Genesis said on the other side of the door.

Zack laughed whole heartedly at the look on Loz's face.

* * *

**Author's Note: **This would have been up last week, but my computer caught a virus among other things.

At any rate, hope you guys enjoy!

Plz, R&R! They make my day.


	7. Courtesy Call

**Where is my Mind?**

**Ch.7 Courtesy Call**

The first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was a blurry grey nothingness. The sounds of machines beeping away next to his bedside were unusually loud. His body ached all over like the day after hard training.

Angeal groaned as he sat up, his head swimming. He blinked several times to clear his vision.

He looked around the room noticing for the first time that he was in a hospital. The grayish ceiling bled into the white walls reflecting the fluorescent light and making it brighter than it should be. His nose seemed to be more sensitive as he picked up all sorts of scents.

Blood, antiseptic, body odor, bleach, and…one he couldn't identify. Whatever it was it made him uneasy and made his stomach churn. He looked around noticing that the machines making the noise were hooked up to him…monitoring him.

He glanced down at himself in confusion becoming aware of the fact that he was wearing a hospital gown and had a cast around his left arm. Without thinking about it much he started to move that arm. Nothing happened. His arm didn't hurt and he felt fine.

He moved to get out of bed when the door opened. He looked up sharply as more light flooded the room from the corridor. He lifted his right hand to shield his face from the blinding light.

"Angeal!" He knew that voice. It was…Hollanders. "You're awake! I…I didn't expect you to have recovered this fast." Hollander said, shutting the door. His voice was filled with wonder, shocked at Angeal's recovery rate.

"What's going on?" Angeal asked his voice scratchy.

"You were badly injured on a mission in Wutai. Do you remember that?" Hollander replied as he went to a nearby pitcher filled with water. He took one of the plastic cups and filled it with the lukewarm substance. Angeal gulped it down in one long swallow, not realizing how thirsty he was until that moment. SOLDIER recruits learned to ignore their pain and so had Angeal. He handed the empty cup back to Hollander for a refill.

"I…went for a walk." Angeal said trying to recall the events leading up to his injuries. Hollander handed him the cup filled with water, urging him to continue. Angeal sipped the water absently recalling the events one at time.

The reason why he'd gotten up…Zack…walking out into the clearing…all the blood he found…the killing ground…that giant wolf…wolf?

Angeal's brow creased.

"I was attacked…," He said slowly as if trying out the words. "…By a wolf?" He said not sure if that was right.

"It was a wolf? Do you know what kind?" Hollander asked taking notes down.

Angeal shook his head. "I've never seen anything like it. It was huge…red with some black…" Angeal said trailing off. He felt anger rise as he remembered the events and the wolf that had attacked him. He wasn't sure if he had ever felt rage like this before. He wanted to give in and let his unchecked fury run free.

Mistaking his silence for terror at the events he was forced to repeat, Hollander sighed and quietly left the room. Angeal was left alone to seethe in anger and not even know why. He could make guesses.

Perhaps he was angry at foolishly letting his guard down, or that that wolf thought he was food. He realized that it wasn't any of these things. Angeal was violated, plain and simple. He remembered screaming as he was torn apart with teeth and claws. Though it should have horrified him thinking back to what happened it only angered him further.

He dully wondered where all the rage was coming from.

He stood, taking deep breaths to calm himself. The door opened and someone walked in again. He could tell it was Sephiroth and not Hollander. He was too quiet, the movement of the air his friend. When did he start to notice things like that?

"Angeal?"

He turned his head to look at him, wondering not for the first time how he could be so calm sometimes. For a moment, they stood there staring at each other. Sephiroth didn't like where this was going. He felt…small in Angeal's presence.

"Angeal? Are you alright?" Sephiroth asked from where he stood. He decided not to move an inch from his spot in case he pounced or something.

Angeal turned away with his back to him.

"I'm fine. Thank you for asking." He replied, in a flat voice.

"Are you sure?" Sephiroth continued.

"I'm fine."

There was something wrong with him. He felt…anxious. He didn't know if that was the right word to some up this feeling in him. He was restless, antsy. He felt trapped in the small room surrounded by cold machines and sterile white sheets. His hands kept clenching and unclenching.

Sephiroth saw all of this and couldn't help but wonder for the second time that day if Hollander had slipped him something.

"Angeal?"

"Something's wrong…I feel like…wrong!" Angeal finally said, turning around. The look on Angeal's face was one of anguish. He wasn't sure what it was but he could feel it bone deep that something was very wrong with him.

He tilted his head back and rubbed his hands over his face hoping to gain more control over his emotions. One minute he was cold and uncaring the next he was uncertain and emotionally wrecked.

It went against Sephiroth's better judgment, but he suggested it anyway. "Do you want to get out of this room?" He asked quietly of Angeal. Angeal looked over with a mixture of emotions even he wasn't sure of.

He nodded his head in assent.

-:-

Sephiroth had thought about it before he asked and instead of going down towards the ground floor, they went up to the roof. He supposed in Angeal's current state it wouldn't be such a great idea to put him near a large group of people so soon. And little did he know his precaution proved invaluable.

The roof was an opened area with wire mesh surrounding the perimeter. It was used mainly as a hang out spot for nurses off duty or for patients wanting to get out of their rooms.

Angeal felt calm here. Less like he was about come apart. The cold air was like a slap in the face, waking him up and calming him down at the same time. He absently rubbed his jaw realizing he was clenching his teeth. This place was no less a prison then the inside of the med lab, but at least he wasn't angry.

Maybe Sephiroth understood that.

He sighed slowly releasing the tautness in his limbs, but not completely relaxing his guard. Angeal rolled his shoulders, turning around to face Sephiroth.

"Sorry. I'm not sure what's wrong with me." Angeal mumbled not looking him in the eye. Sephiroth shrugged not at all bothered.

"It's fine. You're good now?"

"Yeah, I feel a little better."

They stood next to each other in a semi-comfortable silence. There was no arguing the tension in the air, but there was hardly anything either party could do to restrain it. Angeal looked out beyond the wire mesh grating feeling trapped again, the tautness in his limbs returning.

Sephiroth could feel it as well as see it. He almost took a step forward then stopped and changed his mind. Angeal never did like the labs. None of them did, however, he was always best at hiding it and just going with the flow. Sephiroth could understand his apprehension at least a little bit, but it was like the mission in Wutai shattered his equilibrium.

Sephiroth shook his head and walked next to Angeal. He laid his hand on his shoulder in a comforting gesture. Angeal looked at him, unable to summon up his usual calmness.

"I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like…I was finally let out of cage after years and got a taste of freedom, only to be put right back in." Angeal professed beginning to pace. He couldn't have stated it any better way. Something in him wanted to break out, but he couldn't understand how or why. It seemed to all have started after that damned mission in Wutai.

"Angeal…" Sephiroth spoke softly, "perhaps you would be more comfortable in your own home?"

Angeal stopped pacing to consider that.

Going home did sound good. He nodded, still not relaxing.

-:-

Leaving the building was slightly difficult as Angeal's wounds had not even been checked, yet. Hollander did everything he could to keep him there, even though it did no good. Angeal glared him into submission until Hollander was tripping over himself to let him out.

All in all, it took about twenty minutes to be discharged and leave the building. Once outside on the street, however, was a different matter.

Angeal was granted an instant headache from the overwhelming smells and sounds that occupied the streets. The polluted air clogged his nostrils and stuck to his skin. He had to stop twice on the way to their car to puke. The smell of burning grease did nothing to help his constitution as did the repulsive smell of the under city.

He faintly wondered how he could identify so many different smells at the same time before he reached the car and gratefully got in.

It was a 1960's midnight black charger with sliver racing stripes. Sephiroth, of course, had developed a fascination with cars around the age of ten that none of the scientist seemed able to break. Angeal couldn't understand it either, but was usually interested in the idle chatter that sitting in cars produced with Sephiroth. That was not the case today, however.

Thankfully, Sephiroth didn't seem all that interested either, instead playing something soft really loud. Angeal glared at him, but Sephiroth only ignored him.

"You need to stay awake until we get you home." Sephiroth said, by way of explanation.

Annoyed, Angeal stared out his window. At least, the song wasn't so bad. It was something like electronic, though he wasn't sure since he didn't listen to the stuff himself. The song was damn near like a lullaby as it started to taper off and into another song.

"This one's kinda depressing." Angeal announced.

Sephiroth smiled, changing it. Something whispered across the speakers and Angeal immediately wished he hadn't said anything.

'_Doll-Dagga Buzz-Buzz Ziggety-Zag Godmod grotesque burlesque drag'_

He should've known better considering Sephiroth's preference for music. He gave him a withering look that would have made a cadet pee his pants. Sephiroth conveniently ignored him.

-:-

Angeal sighed, his muscles slowly coming loose by themselves. He slumped down heavily on his couch, rubbing his temples. Sephiroth sat next to him, studying him closely.

"You're starting to look better. How do you feel?" He asked quietly.

Angeal shrugged. "Tired…I'm just glad I'm out of the lab. I'm more comfortable here." He admitted. They sat in a relaxed silence for about ten minutes until Angeal broke the quite. "Sephiroth, where's Zack?"

It was entirely too quiet for him. While home he always expected to hear some kind of noise indicating Zack was there in the apartment with him. However, now he heard nothing, but Sephiroth's breathing as he sat next to him. Sephiroth sighed.

"Zack's…home."

Angeal glared at him. "Elaborate please."

"He's in Gongaga with Genesis and Loz."

Angeal frowned. "Why?"

Sephiroth was quite for a long time trying to figure out how to phrase what he needed to say. "Zack was…distraught after you were injured. He wouldn't leave your side for anything. Sending him home was for his own good."

Angeal continued to frown, not sure what to make of that.

"Angeal, what's been going on between the two of you? Zack's been a lot more moody lately and he's been spending all his time with Loz." Sephiroth asked, turning to regard him.

It was Angeal's turn to be silent this time as he considered what he might have done to upset Zack. He sighed when he couldn't come up with a good enough answer.

"Maybe he's just growing up. Soon, he won't even need me hovering over him anymore." It hurt him to say it. He hadn't realized just how much Zack had grown on him. If…no, when he became a first Angeal wouldn't see him much anymore.

He would move out into his own apartment. He'd go on missions alone, or with someone else. He'd eventually find someone whom he would love and in turn love him back. That last thought caused a spark of jealous anger to find its way wedged into his heart. It was accompanied by a sudden wave of sadness.

He truly hadn't realized just how much he really loved Zack.

Sephiroth could sense the change in his friend's demeanor. Whether it was for good or bad, he knew that they needed to resolve their differences.

"You should call him. Let him know that you're alright and that you're out of the labs." Sephiroth said, watching for Angeal's reaction out of the corner of his eye.

Angeal said nothing, only nodding mutely to show his consent. Sephiroth couldn't help, but sigh. It was like this whole damn attack was making everyone stupid.

"You know, I have a better idea instead." Sephiroth continued, walking into Angeal's bedroom. Puzzled, Angeal watched him from the couch.

"What are you doing?" He asked, finally standing when he heard Sephiroth shuffling around in his closet.

"It's customary for people newly discharged from the hospital or lab to take a few days to recuperate, correct?" Sephiroth asked, pulling out a duffle bag and some clothes from Angeal's closet.

Angeal nodded still unsure of where this was all going.

"Well, instead of taking a few days of rest here, alone, you're going on vacation." Sephiroth continued.

"You mean forced leave." Angeal stated, scowling. He didn't want to go on vacation to anywhere. He'd rather just get back to work.

"I haven't finished, yet. You're going to Gongaga."

"Where Zack is?" Angeal said, perking up noticeably. Sephiroth hid his smirk, never realizing the kind of change that his friend was going through.

-:-

"You're coming here?"

"_Yeah, it's Sephiroth's idea."_

"How much did he tell you?"

Silence…

"…_he told me Zack got into some trouble."_

A sigh.

"That sounds intentionally vague, Angeal. You don't care?"

"_No, I didn't say that. I care a great deal just not in the way I should."_

"What do you mean?"

"_I feel confused…and antsy…and claustrophobic."_

Genesis frowned. "What's going on with you, Angel?"

Another sigh.

"_I don't know. This all started after Wutai."_

Genesis frowned some more. The implications were disturbing.

"Better hope no village witchdoctor cast some hoodoo spell on you." Genesis joked. Angeal didn't think it was that funny. Genesis changed the subject. "Zack will be happy to see you. He's been miserable for the past few weeks, torturing himself with the idea that you might not survive."

Angeal frowned, rubbing his eyes. _"How is he?"_

"Oh, just as right as sunshine! He perked right up when I told him that you'd been discharged from the labs. Now he won't shut up. He keeps asking when he'll get to leave, when he'll get to see you, how are you. It's downright annoying! If Loz wasn't here I'd tie him up and lock him in his room!"

"_Loz is there?"_ Angeal asked, glaring at the window in front of him.

"…Yes." Genesis hadn't missed the slight growl in Angeal's tone. "He's been here keeping Zack sane."

Angeal grunted in acknowledgment.

"Where are you, by the way?"

"_On an airship. I should be there in two hours."_

"Peachy, I'll go tell your puppy."

"_See you when I land."_

Genesis snapped his PHS shut, sighing. He stood stretching out his limbs in every which way. His muscles pulled taut then relaxed as he let out a whoosh of air. Turning he made his way out the front door to find Zack.

-:-

Zack sat on the outcropping of rocks watching the ocean roil about below. He could tell just by how violent the weather was that a storm was coming. Lightning flashed across the sky and the clap of thunder followed not long after. The smell of burned ozone carried itself on the wind toward the two seated next to each other.

Loz shifted next to him, sitting up straighter as lightning flashed and the sound of thunder resounded again even louder than the first.

"Maybe we should go inside." Loz suggested as he looked at the sky warily. As his answer Zack pouted. There was nothing to do inside, but brood and have sex, and considering that both of his parents would be home at this hour; Zack wasn't particularly keen on figuring out how loud he, and Loz could be before one of them came barging in.

There was, _literally_, nothing to do.

The computer in his room was so busted that it only operated a few programs and none of them games. The TV in the living room only got a few broadcasts and he'd given away his PlayStation when he joined ShinRa in favor of studying and training. Footsteps approached them from behind and stopped just a few paces from where they sat.

"I come bearing good news, puppy." Genesis said dramatically. Zack turned at the same time as Loz and gave Genesis his full attention.

"Well?" Zack prompted.

"Angeal is a-okay! And better yet, he plans on spending his forced off days here, in Gongaga, with you." Genesis announced with a flourish. Zack sat stupefied at hearing the news. He didn't know what to feel. Elation, joy, excitement, rapture, glee…fear.

The fear stopped him cold from jumping up and glomping Genesis. The hesitance to express emotion did not go unnoticed by Genesis or Loz for that matter.

"What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy." Genesis asked. Zack shook his head, smiling though the expression didn't reach his eyes.

"No, I am. It's just…" It suddenly dawned on Genesis just why he seemed so hesitant. At the moment of realization, proper words seemed to abandon him.

"You are beloved by the Goddess, Zack Fair. Nothing and no one can stay angry at you for any long period of time." Genesis said tactfully. Zack was able to push back his sudden hesitance for a little while to force a smile past his lips.

"Still…Angeal's not gonna be happy that I've been screwing up everything that he's taught me. Man, I'm so fucked." Zack mumbled, thinking of himself for a moment. He wasn't really worried about what Angeal would do to him; Zack could take any punishment SOLDIERs best could dish out. He was more worried about the disappointment he would find in Angeal's eyes.

Just thinking about the inevitable disillusionment on Angeal's face made his stomach turn. Spots danced in his vision and for a moment Zack really thought he was going to throw up. It took a moment for him to register that Genesis was calling his name and Loz was shaking him.

"Huh?"

"What's wrong with you! You had us freaked out for a moment."

"Oh, sorry." Zack replied. He felt all cold and clammy all of a sudden, and all he wanted to do was go hide before Angeal showed up. "Uh, how long until Angeal gets here?"

"In about two hours."

Zack looked stricken. "Two hours! Why so soon!"

Genesis gave him a strange look. "Not too long ago you were begging me to let you go back to Midgar so you would be by his side, now you're all freaked out that he's coming here instead? You don't want to see him anymore?"

"No, it's not that. It's just—''

"What?"

"I don't want him to see me! For the past three weeks all I've done is be selfish! I don't-I can't…" Zack trailed off into awkward silence. For a minute or two, the only sound was the crashing of waves against the cliff side.

"I don't want him to be disappointed." Was what he finally said.

Saying it out loud only affirmed his greatest fear. Disappointing Angeal would mean the ultimate failure on his part. He wanted to be a hero more than anything, but he wanted to make Angeal proud while doing it. The thought of achieving it without Angeal with him made him feel hollow.

Loz frowned at Zack as he sat there in the dirt. If he could only see that Angeal cared about him just as much if not more. It seemed they were doomed to dance around each other forever.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** This chapter was a bitch to write! I never intended to take this long writing it, but the words just wouldn't come. It was kinda like squeezing a dry sponge. Which is why this chapter is kind of short.

I'll understand if sucks.

Anyway, I know where I want to go with this so hopefully I'll be able to crank out the chapters a lot faster.

Anyway, Plz R&R!


	8. Anxious Heart

**First off, I would like to thank everyone that has read and reviewed and apologize for taking so long. Since some people don't sign in, or I don't get around to actually responding to your messages I can't really express my gratitude. So before this turns into a long winded speech, I just want to say **

**Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!**

**I hope you enjoy!  
**

* * *

**Where is My Mind?**

**Ch. 8 Anxious Heart**

Day quickly turned to night and the weather rapidly showed signs of deterioration. By the time the airship landed at the Gongagan airport, the weather had become nearly destructive. It had not started to rain yet; however, the heavy wind began to beat the trees in every direction.

Angeal stepped off the gangplank just as the Captain of the ship began cursing over the intercom. He shook his head, pulling the hood of his dark blue sweater over his head to shield him from the violent wind. Shouldering his pack and sword sheaths, he walked quickly towards the only building in sight.

The building was a grey single story and appeared to be some sort of office building. The signage on the door read in white lettering, "Gongaga Office of Travel and Admittance". Angeal shouldered past the door, the howling wind dying down as the door closed behind him.

The inside was what you'd expect a government building to look like. Rows of uncomfortable foldable chairs facing a flat screen mounted on the wall with fake potted plants spread around the perimeter.

To the right were two large desks behind glass windows with a portcullis that sat against the wood of the desk. A middle aged woman sat behind one of the desks, typing busily at a computer. She was apparently too busy to even issue a greeting as he walked in.

Angeal sighed checking his PHS again. Ever since the airship entered Gongagan air space, Angeal was unable to get a signal. If the weather was anything to go by, all satellite and wireless transmissions would be down.

Angeal sighed walking towards the little window. He didn't really want to talk to anybody unless it was Zack or Genesis, but he didn't want to walk to town in the current weather, either.

"Excuse me, ma'am. But is there a phone I can use? Mine doesn't seem to have any signal." Angeal asked, politely. The woman didn't stop her typing to even look at him, only nodded and shouted for someone.

"Greg! Where's the phone?" Someone, presumably Greg, came out of a door behind the glass and pushed the phone across the wooden desk next to the woman.

"Right next to you, Justina." Greg replied sarcastically, disappearing behind the door once again. The woman, Justina, drew her eyes away long enough to notice the phone in its cradle sitting next to her.

"Oh, sorry about that. Here you go, sweetie." She said pushing the phone towards Angeal through the little window as her eyes returned to her computer screen.

Angeal murmured his thanks as he picked up the phone and dialed Genesis' number. To his utter annoyance, Genesis didn't pick up. He had a habit of not answering the phone when an unknown caller ID popped up.

Angeal tried three more times before he finally gave up.

Irritated, he looked outside and saw the weather was only getting worse. Sighing, Angeal pulled the hood of his sweater over his head and shouldered his pack and sword sheaths. There was no way he would be able to make it to town before it would begin to rain, but Angeal refused to stay overnight at the equivalent of the Gongagan DMV.

He growled angrily, pushing his way past the door.

-:-

Genesis sighed, looking out the window as it began to rain. Angeal should have been here by now or he should have at least called. His phone wasn't working since the sky turned grey, and he couldn't get a signal or even use the internet. The house phone hadn't rung all day either.

After the speech Genesis gave to Zack, he wasn't about to start worrying about Angeal being lost in an airship accident. Never mind that if such a thing were to occur it would quite easily kill a first class, even one of the trinity.

Genesis shook his head of a cartoon image of Angeal taking an unwilling nosedive out of a flaming airship.

Perhaps he had called, but it just didn't go through.

Genesis huffed in annoyance. There was only some much Loveless he could take. Though he absolutely adored the story, he had to admit it was getting old fast.

He was not the type of person that enjoyed nature like Angeal, couldn't fathom running around until he exhausted himself like Zack, and was not content to sit around watching TV like fatass similar to Sephiroth. No, Genesis was a fashionista at heart. But more than that, he enjoyed curling up with a good book and forgetting about the world and everyone else in it.

Genesis was a bookworm.

He stood intending to go to what he knew to be Lewis's office. He'd briefly passed by it on his way to the bathroom and saw that the man owned several bookshelves. Hopefully, he owned something interesting.

A little bit of Tennyson or Shakespeare should do the trick. He did love that man's quotes, after all. He quoted Tennyson once to Sephiroth who promptly looked at him in confusion and only said, "Huh?"

Genesis shook his head of the memory. He was surrounded by morons.

Coming to the door of Lewis's office, Genesis knocked once before pushing the door open. It seemed to be empty but for the sound of soft tapping made loud by the silent room.

"Hello?" Genesis called not wanting to startle the man.

"Hmm?" was his reply.

Against the left wall was a moderately sized desk, big enough to hold a laptop and a small desk lamp but not much else. Papers were scattered all over the desk in haphazard piles, some soundlessly sliding off to join its strewn brethren on the floor. Zack's father seemed intent on whatever it was he was doing with his head ducked down and glasses sliding off his nose as he tapped noisily on his computer.

"I hope I'm not bothering you, but I was wondering if I could…" Genesis spoke politely trailing off and gesturing with his hand toward the bookshelves.

Lewis looked up from his computer screen and blinked a couple of times to clear his vision. "Huh? Oh, yes! Go right ahead."

"Thanks."

Genesis walked over to the bookshelves lining the opposite wall and began to scan them. He could feel Lewis's eyes on him, but not in a lustful way. It was more calculating as if he wasn't sure what to make of him, yet.

The way he was staring was quite obvious. He'd stopped tapping for one.

Genesis looked over his shoulder and smiled at the bespectacled man. "Is everything alright?" He asked. Lewis considered his words before replying.

"You are…Genesis Rhapsodos."

"Yes…"

"And you are part of ShinRa's Trinity."

"…yes…" Genesis asked becoming confused. The way Lewis said these assertions were more like statements instead of…questions.

"Why would one of the ShinRa's Trinity be friends with my son? He's only a second class." Lewis Fair stated nailing Genesis with a suspicious glare.

Genesis raised an eyebrow at that. He had to keep himself from laughing, the man had no idea how much he and Zack were alike. They even pouted the same way. He turned around completely and sat in one of the big stuffed seats in front of Lewis's desk.

"Well…to be completely honest I was most assuredly jealous of Zack."

"Jealous?" Lewis repeated the word as if he had never heard it before.

"Yes, jealous." Genesis nodded his head. "Know why? Because Angeal had finally turned his attention away from the Goddess."

Lewis stared, confusion in his features.

It was obvious to the casual observer that Genesis was a diva, but…_Goddess?_

"What I mean is…we've only ever had each other, Angeal, Sephiroth and I. Things started to change and when Angeal began mentoring Zack as a cadet I was…not happy." Genesis said, an old feeling of jealousy and abandonment welling up. He cleared his throat before he continued. "At any rate, as Zack started becoming a part of Angeal's life he became a common occurrence in mine. And thus, we are friends…or something close to it."

Lewis felt a solid sense of dread settle in the pit of his stomach. "What's my son's relationship with this Hewley guy?" He found himself blurting out. Once it was out, however, he couldn't stop it and a mild look of embarrassment crossed his features.

Genesis looked slightly amused. "They're teacher and student, of course."

Lewis, again, looked suspicious.

"Don't believe me ask them. Although, Zack…"

"Yes?"

"He is transparent. Like an open book with lines unclear."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Lewis asked.

"It means you might misinterpret Zack's mood." Genesis replied, getting up and strolling over to the bookshelf again.

"That sounds like just the opposite."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure Zack doesn't even know what he's feeling. He's very expressive. Oh! An anthology!"

Lewis was quite for a moment as he tried to digest what was said. It was no secret to him and his wife that his son was gay. He figured it out when Zack was 3 or 4. He was just that much more sensitive than the other boys in the village. Still, it occurred to him that Zack hadn't really changed much in that department, but at least he wasn't like the other queers in the cities. That would only freak him out.

His son was pretty, but not effeminate. In his own way, he was only trying to find his place in the world. Still, he would prefer it if he didn't do so with a blood sucking company like ShinRa.

Even with these feelings, Lewis felt he had no right to complain. He…_experimented_ when he was young, long before he met his wife.

"What is he like?" Lewis asked Genesis after a pensive moment of silence.

"Who? Zack?" Genesis asked in confusion.

"No, Hewley. I know what Zack's like. He's my son."

Genesis gave him a sidelong look at that. "People used to say that Angeal was the adult of us when we were kids. He's patient; boring, serious, attentive…did I mention he was boring?"

"He sounds like a good teacher."

"Hmm, he was the ideal temperament…and with the way Zack is that's a good thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Short-attention span, remember? I've observed Zack in his classes when he was a cadet. Best in his class by far, but couldn't focus worth a damn. ShinRa saw his potential and didn't want it to be wasted, so they assigned him to Angeal." Genesis said, flipping through a book. "He's a lot like Sephiroth. They're both very private people."

"I can't imagine my boy with someone like that." Lewis said absently rubbing his chin. Genesis turned and grinned at him. He blushed, realizing how it sounded. "That's not what I meant!"

"Of course."

"No, really! It's not like that!"

"I believe you."

Lewis just sighed, rolling his eyes. He could see Genesis was one of those people. "At any rate, I wanted to know what Zack is really going through with this man."

"Why don't you ask him yourself?" Genesis asked.

"Because then he thinks I'm interrogating him."

Genesis raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I'm just saying…it all sounds awfully familiar."

-:-

Angeal began cursing when the rain started pelting him in the face, and did not stop even when the village came into view. The village itself reminded him of Banora, but wilder and without the rolling hills. The houses weren't as clustered together as his hometown was and the roads were more paved.

Angeal began to think that instead of imposing on Zack's family it would be better to stay at an inn. At the moment, however, all he could think about was seeing Zack. He didn't know why, but he felt a powerful urge to see the teens smiling face. It was all he thought about since he left Midgar.

The rain had not let up at all since his long trek from the airport to the village proper, and now he was soaked from head to toe. Angeal recalled that Zack's house was next the road, but on which side he didn't quite know.

He stopped and waited. Taking a lucky guess he picked the house on his left. The houses didn't look any different from each other. They were the same size, the same construct. The only difference Angeal could discern was the name plate on the mail boxes. The one he walked towards said 'Fair'.

_Of course, I could just look at the name plates_, Angeal thought.

He stopped when he got to the door, and knocked three times since there was no doorbell. Immediately, the door swung open and a petite middle aged woman stood on the other side trying not to glare.

"I don't suppose you know how to knock properly?" She said.

"Huh?"

"Never mind. You must be Angeal. Come on in. I'm Jenna by the way, Zack's mother."

"Oh, hello. It's nice to meet you." Angeal replied, shaking her hand awkwardly. He was cold and soaked through from the rain though he hardly noticed as he took in the interior of the house. It had a homey feel to it, and Angeal could easily see a young spiky haired youth raising hell in the house.

The thought made him smile and think of his own mother.

"You must be freezing. Stand there and let me get you a towel. Why didn't you call? I'm sure my husband or Genesis would have gone out to get you." Jenna called from down the hall as she rummaged around for towel large enough to cover Angeal's body.

Angeal frowned slightly at the familiarity she showed. First, by being rude and then, by using Genesis' first name. His frown deepened when the thought finished crossing his mind as he didn't even know where it came from.

"I did. Genesis didn't answer." Angeal grumbled.

"What was that?"

"Uh, nothing. I didn't expect the weather to be this bad." Angeal replied.

"Oh, you don't know? I thought you ShinRa types would know everything like it was nobody's business?" Jenna said coming back with a white fluffy towel. She didn't wait for a response as she handed the towel off to him, "Its hurricane season right now in Gongaga. We've been lucky so far to only get showers, but now it's a hurricane. It's not so bad really. We've had worse."

Angeal accepted the towel with murmured thanks. He toed his shoes off and gently set his sword sheaths and duffel on the ground.

"Umm…"

"The bathroom's down the hall on your right. I'll go tell Zack and Genesis that you're here." Jenna said gently smiling.

Again, with the familiarity. Angeal wonder what had been going on since they'd been here.

Angeal murmured his thanks again, as he made to walk towards the bathroom, stopped, grabbed his duffel and kept going.

The bathroom was pretty small. Not tiny, but not big either. Angeal had to be careful not to accidentally knock anything over as he undressed. He had to breathe shallowly through his mouth as the scent of chlorine and a bunch of other scents assaulted his nose.

He nearly gagged when the foul smells entered his esophagus. Turning pale, Angeal quickly dried himself off with brisk strokes and redressed in another pair of blue jeans and a thin black t-shirt. He quickly grabbed his clothes, not sure what to do with them and just stuffed them into a side compartment of his duffel bag.

Still breathing shallowly, Angeal stepped from the confining bathroom out into the hallway only to be accosted by Zack. He threw himself against Angeal's wide chest, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. Angeal slowly relaxed, not realizing that he very nearly was about to throw Zack to the ground. Unsure of why he felt annoyed, Angeal tried to calm himself before he spoke.

"Zack, are you alright?" He asked his gruff voice sounding strained. Zack nodded his head trembling slightly. Angeal realized that he was probably worried about him. His posture softened even further, and he smiled as he separated from Zack just far enough to see his face.

"Puppy, I'm fine. See, I'm okay. My wounds are already healed." Angeal whispered as he passed his thumbs under Zack's eyes catching his tears before they fell. Zack gave him a weak smile showing the relief he felt, but also apprehension.

"Zack?" Angeal questioned wondering why he was still tense.

"Angeal, I know you must be disappointed in me and I'm so, so sorry." Zack rushed out in one breath.

He didn't look up into Angeal's face to see the disappointment that would surely be there. He didn't want to see how badly he failed his mentor. At the memory of what he did, Angeal couldn't help but to purse his lips. Again, he felt annoyance but it wasn't directed at him.

"Zack, don't worry about it." Angeal said quietly.

He was beginning to think that there was something seriously wrong with him. Never before had Angeal ever condoned, or let an act of violence just slide because he felt that the other party deserved every bit of aggression taken out on them. No, Angeal didn't blame Zack. He only blamed himself for shirking his duties to discipline his apprentice.

Zack slowly looked up, not sure if he had heard right. He was prepared take any punishment Angeal saw fit to give, but now he didn't know what to think.

"W-what?"

Angeal sighed, "You heard me, Zack. Don't worry about it."

"But shouldn't I-''

"If the man doesn't want to punish you, then stop looking for a punishment." Lewis said, closing the door to his office.

Angeal's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed as he spotted the interruption down the hall.

Angeal was not what Zack's father had expected. He expected to see an old, sour man with a scraggly beard and grey hair. He did not expect to see a man that was six years his son's senior without even the growth of a beard on his face.

That sense of dread returned full force now.

Before he could say anything else, Genesis turned the corner with Loz hot on his heels. Oddly enough, Angeal heard him before he saw him and his annoyance spiked again.

"Why didn't you answer your phone?" Angeal immediately asked.

Genesis, not missing a beat, walked over and hugged him. "Hello to you, too." He said softly an audible hitch in his voice.

Angeal, suddenly feeling like a dick, frowned and wrapped his arms around Genesis to hug back. He very nearly forgot the state his best friend must have been in when they found his body.

"I'm sorry." Angeal said sincerely. Genesis just shook his head as he drew back, discretely wiping his eyes.

"Why didn't you just call the house phone? Wireless signals have been down all day." Genesis mentioned.

"I didn't know the number." Angeal mumbled as he slightly turned pink. He began to feel foolish for acting the way he did but for some reason knew he couldn't help it.

"Well are you all crowding the hallway, come and eat!" Jenna called from around the corner.

-:-

"I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old are you exactly?" Lewis asked, frowning at Angeal.

"Twenty-six. Why?" Angeal responded as he ate. Genesis, Zack, and Loz gave him strange looks as Angeal practically inhaled his food. They'd never seen him eat like this.

"I was just wondering how someone as young as you can become a mentor." Lewis stated simply. He didn't bother hiding his skepticism.

Angeal looked up and chewed his food quietly as he observed Lewis. Taking a sip of his grape juice Angeal said, "I assure you that I am qualified to mentor, no matter my age."

"Is that so? Do SOLDIERs as young as you normally mentor?" Lewis asked again. Angeal frowned at the questioning. He hadn't expected to be interrogated, but more than that an uncomfortable feeling was welling up in the pit of his stomach.

"As you know, SOLDIER candidates can be as young as fourteen. First classes are usually in their mid-twenties to forties."

"Well by that estimate, you haven't been a First class for very long have you?" For a long moment, Angeal said nothing. He only stared at the man across from him and had the most sudden urge to put the man in his place.

He was challenging him. The man knew nothing about Angeal, but he was almost outright challenging him. It took all of Angeal's willpower to not snap and kill him.

"I, along with Genesis and Sephiroth, have been a First class for a very long time. I think I can say with certainty, I that I know what I'm doing." Angeal stated quietly. It took everything he had to appear non-hostile, though to those that knew him it was certainly impossible to miss the signs. "If you'll excuse me. Thank you for dinner Mrs. Fair, it was delicious." Angeal said, disappearing into the only guest room available.

Genesis raised an eyebrow at Lewis while Zack and his mother glared at him.

"What the hell was that?" Zack exclaimed clearly annoyed. Startled, Lewis looked at Zack whose eyes began to glow from the mako in his systems.

"What was what?" Lewis intoned playing dumb.

"Don't act innocent! What were you hoping to gain by provoking him?" Jenna stated firmly.

"He was just released from the hospital, why would you do that?" Zack asked looking angry.

"Well, excuse me if I'm a little concerned with the fact that my son is being tutored by a man no older than he is! Are you sure he even knows what he's doing? Who goes walking in the woods in the middle of the night when there's a ferocious fiend on the loose? That's just lunacy! Are the two of you sleeping in the same quarters?"

"Lewis Fair!" Jenna screamed gripping her fork and knife with a solid grip. Genesis had the gall enough to be amused by their remarks.

Zack was still after his father asked that last absurd question. Though it was true that he and Angeal lived in the same apartment, they both had two separate rooms. The fact that his father would even suggest…hot rage seemed to flood through Zack's body starting with his stomach and working its way through his veins.

What he felt before when he nearly beat three men to death was dull in comparison. He wouldn't strike his father though no matter how angry he became.

With remarkable restraint, that Angeal would no doubt be proud of had he been there to witness it, Zack spoke, "Dad, I understand that you're worried about me and only looking out for my best interest…but I'm not a child anymore. I can look out for myself and Angeal is a damn good teacher. I wouldn't be where I am if not for him. So, please, I ask you to not insult the man's honor. He has more than you could even imagine." Zack quietly got up from the table, squeezing his mother's shoulder as he walked by.

Jenna Fair sat at the table glaring daggers at her husband. "Well, you've effectively ruined dinner."

-:-

Angeal's breathing was erratic as he fought for control over his emotions. He could just barely remember the last time he felt so enraged.

What was happening to him?

Angeal was known to be a remarkably patient man, a master of his emotions like Sephiroth, but now he could hardly contain himself.

His skin felt hot, his head felt heavy and was pounding.

There was clearly something wrong with him. He began to worry and wonder if perhaps he should have fought harder against Sephiroth sending him here. He would have preferred to remain on active duty, but the likelihood of returning now seemed all but impossible.

He ceased his pacing only for a moment to crack open the only window in the room and gulp in some much needed fresh air. By this time, the rain had already slowed to an almost silent drizzle.

The fresh summer air was cool and refreshing against Angeal's heated skin, and he was all too happy to breathe in the untainted air, so unlike Midgar or his own hometown of Banora.

He sat down on the edge of the bed, his arms folded with his chin resting on the windowsill. The fresh air seemed to alleviate the tension in his body, and Angeal slowly began to unwind.

The sound of nature didn't seem to be doing its usual job of calming him, so much as making him restless.

He wanted to…Angeal wanted to go running.

Yes, he had a most powerful urge to go out running as fast as he could until he couldn't run anymore. He didn't understand this sudden powerful urge, but he knew it was something he wanted to do…had to do.

Angeal suddenly stood, casting about for his boots. He slipped them on without tying the laces and jumped out the window to land on the wet ground. With barely a hitch in his stride, Angeal took off for the forests surrounding the village.

-:-

Zack was shocked and nearly forgot to breathe as he watched Angeal jump out the window. His gut churned with the feeling that Angeal was leaving him for good, leaving him because his father acted like an ass.

He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help the twisting feeling his stomach was making that made him nauseous with fear.

Zack quickly crossed the room to the window to see Angeal take off towards the forests. Zack knew that nature usually calmed Angeal, but he couldn't help but wonder what the hell was going through his head?

_How could he return to walking through the forests again so quickly after what happened_, Zack thought.

He didn't even bring a weapon, he didn't know the land like Zack, and he was alone and _probably_ still injured. This was enough convincing on Zack's part to chase Angeal out the window and follow him through the forests.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

Alright! Again, sorry for taking so long and thanks to all that have read and reviewed. I could come up with a bunch of excuses as to why this took so long, but the only real valid points would be that my muse got distracted by other stories and I was playing **too** much Skyrim (Skycrack to those that have played it).

But once the glitches started in, people started asking if I died, and my muse came back I started writing again. I realized that this chapter was the hardest by far to start. I went over it a number of times, but I feel like there are some continuity errors.

So for those that like to drop reviews, could you maybe do me a favor and if you spot any continuity errors maybe mention them to me so I can fix them. I would like to not make the same mistakes in later chapters.

Just because Final Fantasy 7 has a crap load of errors doesn't mean that I want to follow that tradition.

Anyway, Plz R&R!


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